I Am The Very Model of a Crazy Fundamentalist

[Duet]

I am the very model of a crazy fundamentalist

My modus operandi ain’t one of the very gentle -est

I’ll rant and shout, my venom spout in terms uncategorical

‘Cause I can’t tell the Earth from Hell or real from allegorical

[Duet]

I try to stop all equal op-portunity for woman-kind

That’s not to say I’m really a misogynist, just dumb-an’-blind

My arguments don’t make much sense to anyone who’s logical

And scientists? Well, they can kiss my astrotheological

[Congregation]

Yes scientists, they can go kiss his astrotheological

Yes he will diss the scientists in language scatological

He’ll take the piss of scientists by speaking loads of dodgy bull

[Duet]

I’ll damn to hell the Infidel for such is my propensity

For demagogues I’ll sin, agog, whipped up so very frenziedly

Of over-hyped sub-mental types, you’d say that I’m the mental-est

I am a quite fanatical religious fundamentalist

[Congregation]

Of all the very mental types, damn right he is the mental-est

A really sick and fanatic religious fundamentalist

[Duet]

I only look at holy books – God’s word shall fill my cranium

Inside my mind all you will find’s a tal-muddled Koranium

I often gloat that it is wrote in language so poetical

If you imply it’s not, then I denounce you as heretical

[Duet]

When burning flags and burning fags my pulse-rate is a-quickening

But bodies bare and turbanned hair I find extremely sikhening

Can’t be denied that suicide in God’s name is worth trying for

And half a gross (an overdose) of virgins is worth dying for

[Congregation]

Yes, half a gross an overdose of virgins is worth dying for

He’s ne’er been close to half a gross of virgins and he’s dying for

An overdose of being gross with virgins that he’s dying for

[Duet]

I have to hate the apostate because my cleric says it’s planned

There’s no excuse, one’s faith to lose and anyone who does is damned

And therefore I will always try extremely to prevent all this

I’m not a very moderate religious fundamentalist

[Congregation]

We think that he is so silly in trying to prevent all this

He is, we state, immoderate religious fundamentalist

[Duet]

If I could take on real debate not simply quoting holy texts

Or now and then show indepen-dent thought not the same ol’ pretexts

If I’d admit it isn’t lit-eral described infernal fires

If I could show I really know God’s will and not my own desires

If I’d not rant, be tolerant and never more proselytise

That atheists and gay-theists are Satanism in disguise

If I were sane, using my brain for cogitating, mentally

You’d say this fundamentalist had altered fundamentally

[Congregation]

If he were sane, using his brain – yes altered fundamentally

Let us explain less mental pain – he would be changed hindubitably

No more “deranged”, he would be changed so very fundamentally

[Duet]

But I extol the wholly hol-y – I’m a quite repelling pest

I think the rule should be in school for regular gos-spelling tests

And in the streets you’ll hear me preach, my views the very sensiblest

I am a very biased and relig-i-ous fundamentalist

[Congregation]

And in the streets you’ll hear him preach, his views the reprehensiblest

He’s, as we said, a bigoted religious fundamentalist

from http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/UnTunes:I_Am_The_Very_Model_of_a_Crazy_Fundamentalist