Extensive research has revealed the ultimate fate of Lord Greystoke, better known as Tarzan. It seems he lost his grip on a slippery creeper whilst swinging through the jungle, and fell to his death. The native tribe who discovered his body gave him their highest honour: they extracted his intestines, dried them in the sun, and used them as the strings of a musical instrument which was presented to the chief, to be handed down from father to son. If the instrument is treated with care, it seems likely that the tribal leaders will be able to play Tarzan’s tripes forever.