===========================

TODAYS RIDDLE :

Rearrange the letters of GROW NO LINSEED to spell one single word. x

x

x

x

x

x

x

Scroll down for the answer

x

x

x

x

x

x

Here it comes

x

x

x

x

x

ONE SINGLE WORD

===========================

When I went into labor, I notified my parents, and they rushed to the hospital. They arrived before my husband and were ushered into the room where I was being monitored. The doctor came in and, motioning to Dad, asked, “Is this the husband?”

“Oh, no,” Dad blurted out. “I’m the father!”

===========================

One-Liners

——————-

A mouse trap placed on top of your hubby’s alarm clock will prevent him from rolling over and going back to sleep.

There are three sides to every story: his, hers, and the truth.

I wanted beautiful roses like those next door, so my husband patiently waited until it got dark…

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. -Albert Einstein

Anger is only one letter short of danger. –Eleanor Roosevelt

My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse He Couldn’t Do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse.

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?

===========================

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

‘Oh, I really liked it,’ she replied, ‘especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents!

Dumbfounded, her date asked, ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like…Helloooooooooooooo? It’s only 25 cents!!!!!!

===========================

After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said. “I’ll do the next one.”

The next time came around and she asked again. The husband narrowed his eyes as he looked at his wife.

“I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby.”

===========================

It was mealtime during a recent flight I took from New York to California with Continental Airlines…

“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked me when she reached the row of seats I was sitting in, pulling the food cart along behind her.

“What are my choices?” I asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.

****

If you would like to be included on John Maida’s “clean humor” list, send a blank email to jhmaida[at]hotmail.com with “=Include Me=” as the Subject.