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TODAYS RIDDLE :

I am partially baked.

I am not completely lit.

I am a portion of the moon.

I am lesser than full wit.

I am a divider of the hour.

I am not a total lie.

I am a sibling through one parent.

Can you guess….what am I???

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HALF

half baked, half lit, half moon, half wit, half past the hour, half truth, half brother/sister.

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Two wolves.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiori ty, and ego.

The other is Good It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’

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It was visitor’s day at the lunatic asylum. All the inmates were standing in the courtyard and singing “Ave Maria.”

They were singing it beautifully. But oddly, each of them was holding a red apple in one hand and tapping it rhythmically with a pencil.

A visitor listened in wonder to the performance and then approached the conductor.

“I am a retired choir director,” he said. “This is one of the best choirs I have ever heard.”

“Yes, I’m very proud of them,” said the conductor.

“You should take them on tour,” said the visitor, “what are they called?”

“Surely that’s obvious,” replied the conductor… “They’re the Moron Tapanapple Choir.”

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Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of long distance

phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint.

“I’ve found CTC to be the cheapest plan around,” offered one.

“CTC? Who are they?”

“You know,” he responded. “Call Them Collect.”

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A woman was instructing the new maid on the great care required

in handling certain valuable household objects. She pointed to the

dining room and said with great satisfaction, “That table goes back

to Louis the Fourteenth.”

“Oh, that’s nothing,” the maid interjected. “My whole living- room

set goes back to Sears the fifteenth.”