A talk by Darren Cronshaw for a church preparing for a new pastor, May 2009

-Beyond employment arrangements … a dance rather than a contract

Thanks & intro. One of the privileges of my role is seeing what God is doing around the state. Good on you. Privilege come & share with you today, especially as you prepare for a new stage of ministry with your new pastor and their family. I’ve just started as a pastor as well, and I love the excitement and dance between me and the congregation, the new relationships and hope for future.

It is significant time for a church to prepare for a new pastor. The occasion arouses a variety of feelings – often relief is not least among them, but also sometimes anxiety over how things will change, worry about whether things will work, concern about whether conflict from the past will continue. But usually there is a healthy optimism and excitement about what a new leader will bring.

A new pastor inspires some people to step up to the plate and get more involved. For others, it is a long-looked-for opportunity to hand over responsibilities to someone else.

Some people optimistically presume that a new pastor will blaze a new day of revitalisation, bring people together, please young and old, and bring in not just the pastor’s young family but a crowd of newcomers (who won’t change too much of what we like about church).

But it’s not just about a gifted and called pastor. I have loved the churches where I have served as pastor (with greater and lesser degrees of challenge and fulfilment). One thing I’ve learned that fruitful pastoral leadership and church health has as much, or more, to do with trust and good relationships between pastor and church than a host of other factors, including whether the pastor is exceptionally gifted or the church especially healthy. I was an average, even mediocre, youth pastor, but a church believed in me, encouraged me, cheered me on and gave me opportunity to fly. I am convinced that a large part of my sense of call and confidence in ministry stems from that church’s confidence in me – not the contract we signed but the dance we developed.

It breaks my heart to see churches struggling with hope and vision, and colleagues in ministry whose enthusiasm is deflated and good-heartedness soured, because they may have the contract in place but haven’t learned how to dance together.

I was at a wedding a couple of months ago and the music started up and I picked up a dance with a friend next to me, but was a little too enthusiastic and trod on her toes, didn’t get with the rhythm. I’ve had that experience with churches sometimes too.

What is it that stops us dancing well together?

Sometimes the church has power-brokers or a wall of a reluctance to dance with the pastor in particular directions. Other times, I know for myself, my fair share of dysfunctionalisms don’t keep me in step with the Spirit of God. Tendencies towards workaholism, ambitiousness, avoidance of conflict, and lack of discipline in devotional practices get me out of step.

When it comes to church life, it can be a mystery why things thrive sometimes, or struggle at other times. Ministry and congregational life is more an artform than a science. The relationship between a pastor and a church is more a dance than a contractual arrangement. As a pastor and a congregation come together there are certain employment arrangements involved. But the far more critical aspect of the relationship is not captured by employment arrangements, salary figures or bank accounts. The ministry-making or ministry-breaking elements for a new pastor in a church have much more to do with relationships and trust. These are not listed in an employment contact, though they might be included in a Memorandum of Understanding, or particularly find their place in a pastor and church’s covenant to one another.

-Church covenants

I’m encouraged you have developed a covenant and asked me talk to it this morning. Because, admittedly repeating myself, whether a new pastor and a church thrive together is as much about their relationship and trust as whether the pastor is especially skilled or the church exceptionally healthy.

A pastor and deacon drove home after a meeting and unfortunately had a head-on collision on the Murray River bridge (one had turned back because they forgot something). Miraculously they survived without a scratch to themselves though cars were written off. Pastor said, “PTL, we should put disagreements behind us. This is obviously a sign from God of his care. I know you don’t usually drink but let’s have a drink to celebrate our new relationship.” “Drink what?” “Bottle Scotch in back that I was give this week for a funeral service – here have a swig.” Deacon had a long gulp. Quite a long gulp. Pastor screwed the lid back on the bottle and threw it over into the river. “Aren’t you going to have a drink?” Pastor said, “No, police will be here any minute with a breathalyser.”

It is funny, but it is sad the things we can do to one another to get ahead, make our point, make us look better.

I worked with a leadership team several years ago I appreciated, but we wanted to express our expectations of each other and the hopes for our teamwork, so we drafted a covenant that included things like: supporting one another, working together collaboratively, exercising open communication and courteous disagreement, confidentiality, encouraging critical people to speak to the people they are criticising. It was a helpful exercise to talk about our expectations and a helpful framework to refer to.

Whole churches can develop covenants too. For example, West Preston articulate their community commitment with these simple words:

The People’s Covenant, West Preston Baptist Church

In response to God’s call in my life, I (name) covenant before God, with

•Be faithful in attendance in worship and community life;

•Involve myself in at least one aspect of community life and mission, as I am able;

•To care for both new and established participants in our congregation;

•Give of my means sacrificially; and

•To let our church’s values guide my participation in its community and mission.

What I love about this sort of covenant is that it says membership is more than signing up and voting at Meetings. We need other ways to express membership, including ways that express common commitments to joining the dance together; doing life together and sharing in a sense of mission. Healthy church life is not about rules and regulations, but relationships and trust. A covenant reminds of the importance and boundaries of these relationships and what we commit to one another. That’s what a covenant is – an agreement between two parties that binds them mutually to do things on the other’s behalf.

-God’s covenant with his people Israel was to call them to blessing with God, while expecting commitment in return. It was an invitation to the dance of God, to join in with God’s dream for the world.

-The new covenant was God offering forgiveness & transformation through Jesus, and calling for faithful following in response – following God’s lead in the dance.

Being in covenant with God, vertically, we then have the opportunity to covenant with one another, horizontally, to express how we will live and cooperate and dance together.

Covenantal relationships were historically important for Baptists. Early congregations in the 18th century committed to practices like regular public worship, financial responsibility, holy living, avoiding division, mutual prayer and care, communication with the pastor, church discipline and personal devotion. A number of Victorian Baptist churches have developed covenantal statements about membership that generally cover areas such as:

-The nature of community

-The implications of discipleship and mission

-The importance of hospitality and the welcoming of diversity. You have come up with your already good covenant, particularly focusing on the church’s relationship with the pastor. (On historical and contemporary use of covenants see: Warren Hodge, “Covenantal Theology in Contemporary Baptist Church Life” (2008 paper), 2, 6.)

All that as intro, this morning I want to suggest and unpack one key element that is important background for any covenant I reckon, or at least essential in any healthy and loving relationship between a pastor and church. The key ingredient is … mutual encouragement.

It is hard to dance together when 1 party is critical/ discouraging isn’t it? And it’s hard to dance on your own – it’s a mutual activity usually. I used to rap dance as a teenager on my own, and Pentecostal 2-step as a young adult, but “It takes 2 to tango” my Dad used to say, usually in reference to us kids fighting, you know what I mean that usually dancing is mutual. We dance best with those we are in sync with and love.

-One essential for any covenant – mutual encouragement In 1 Thessalonians Paul encourages the church about what really is good news to dance to about Jesus – how he lived, died and rose from the dead so we can live with him forever. That is a hope that can grab our imagination and a future that calls us forward. Paul recognises, though, that the world can be a tough and unfriendly place. It’s easy to get hurt. We’re surrounded by frustrating circumstances and misunderstanding people. As we face a world ploughed by terror and suffering injustice greater than we can often imagine, it’s easy to be fearful. Emotions can tear us apart.

E.g., Jessie said to me the other night, “I saw a man lying on the street – aren’t the Red Cross supposed to help them. There’s hundreds of charities and there are still homeless people.” It broke her heart. And it touched my heart that her heart was open to that. (Jessie gave me permission to share that.)

In a tough world, with the hope of God’s dream for a better world, Paul says 1 Thes 5:11, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” Paul knew the church was encouraging one another, as you are, but said keep at it as it’s so important. Encouragement is not something we leave to those who are gifted in it, or to paid professionals to encourage us. We all need it, and it’s up to all of us to offer it to one another.

One of the most significant books on healthy ministry and pastor-church relations is Paul & Libby Whetham’s Hard to be Holy: Unravelling the Roles and Relationships of Church Leaders. It tells stories of pastors and the pressures they face and argues that sustainability in ministry comes from two-way relationships. Without a sense of mutuality between pastors and (at least some) church members, they found that pastors are much more prone to burnout and misconduct. There’s no dance – or we get out of step.

For example, in the voice of two of the pastors interviewed for the book:

I think the expectations that people have of you as a minister are sometimes quite, quite difficult to deal with. They sneak up and surprise you sometimes. In the older congregation here that’s a tendency for them to look at you as their minister, but not as their friend, and it’s very difficult for them to cross those boundaries sometimes. It’s kind of sad in a way because I just personally feel that you can’t minister to somebody unless you have some sort of relationship with them that goes beyond what you do on Sunday. (Andrew) p97

We’ve got some good friends that support us, a particular couple in the church that I can basically tell them anything, how I feel, and know that they’ll keep it in confidence and appreciate me as a person and not as a pastor. They’re mature Christians and I count them as close friends and they’re a great support. I call [P] at work and if he’s not busy I can just talk. I can tell him what’s going through my head and my doubts, fears and the lot. (Phil) p.94.

Let me tell you, mutual encouragement is so important. I took a new friend out for coffee this week – a member of the church I have just started at as interim. I trust I encouraged her, but she also encouraged me. I offered to pay for the coffee (and she said she didn’t expect or presume that, but graciously allowed me to pay for it as I wanted to; and said she’d pay for the next one). That’s mutuality. It’s reciprocal giving. I’ll be in ministry and giving of my all whether reciprocity is there or not, but it makes it a whole lot more life-giving and sustainable when ministry goes both ways.

Eugene Peterson, a hero pastor of mine, was struggling in his early years of being a pastor. He was frustrated he was spending so much time in meetings and doing admin. So he told his chairperson of deacons he was thinking of resigning. The lay-leaders asked him ‘What do you want to do in ministry?” He said (I paraphrase) “I want to mainly spend time in the Bible so I can teach it well, and spend time with people so I can know and care for them well.” The lay-leader, ‘Well you do that and we’ll have a go at looking after the rest.” The next finance committee meeting, Peterson turned up and the chairperson, “What are you doing here?” “I came to see if you needed me.” “We don’t”. “Well I’ll offer moral support.” “No, go home.” What does that say about a pastor and the pastor’s team working together?

1 Thessalonians says “encourage one another & build each other up, as you are doing” – how?

12-13 “Now we ask you dear brothers and sisters, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.”

There is an equality of all God’s people as brothers and sisters in Christ – but also encouragement to respect and hold in high regard, to recognise and appreciate those who lead us. We can be so into egalitarianism and democracy (and I am into those values) that we forget the need for leadership. We can celebrate the ministry and mission of all God’s people (which I do wholeheartedly), but want to also honor those who are called to equip God’s people for those works of ministry (Eph 4:11-12).

What does it say about leaders? They are those who:

a.Work hard or labour among you. Labouring reminds me of working as a bricky’s labourer, which was hard work, but there are elements of leadership that are hard work – spiritually and socially and relationally. It has its privileges and joys, but it’s not an easy gig. It can be lonely, difficult to balance expectations. Paul knew ministry is hard work and has its challenges, and so its apt to honour those who lead in church. (If you’ve ever danced you know it’s not without aerobic activity & sweat & sore muscles – we need encouraging for the hard work.)

b.“Who are over you in the Lord”. 1 Tim 3 uses this language about a father’s relationship to their household – it was leadership role but also a role of serving/ protecting/ caring for the family. Pastors being “over” us and caring for us is not hierarchical but serving, and in that there is authority. Actually there is a truth that pastors are also under us (not as doormats or subservient to us) but under us to support and cheer us on. But even better than thinking of “over” or “under”, is to think of the pastor’s role in giving a lead step in the dance – as we dance side-by-side, if we’re sensitive to 1 another then the leadership role of the pastor and the dancing of the congregation can make for a fun and beautiful experience.

c.Thirdly, leaders are those who “admonish” us, they teach and nurture us, including warning us against all that is wrong. I think this is about helping us know not just what to think but how to think, and how to think about ethics and lifestyle. Leon Morris, ‘while its tone is brotherly, it is big-brotherly.’ Our pastors’ role in teaching and challenging us is so key in the face of so much in society (and ourselves) that goes against the values of the gospel.

v.13a/ “Hold them in the highest regard [not half-heartedly] in love [not just in some employed relationship for them to be deliverer of religious goods and services, but in a deep relational family-of-God sense characterised by love].” We dance best with those we love.

Let me tell you, pastors who know they are loved and followed will thrive, just like congregations that know they are loved and led well will thrive, and pastors and churches that know they love one another will … thrive as they dance together. … Encourage 1 another in the dance. ?