Which is better, eternal happiness or a ham sandwich? It would appear that eternal happiness is better, but this is really not so! After all, nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a ham sandwich is certainly better than nothing. Therefore a ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness.

Cynic’s response:

# Well, it could be so, but if No Thing is better than Eternal Happiness, then that’d include a Ham Sandwich. But a Ham Sandwich is better than Nothing (Zero).

Yet, if there are three persons, and one is given a Ham Sandwich; another, No Thing; and third Eternal Happiness (by a priest), then who is better off?

The first has Nutrition; second, Vexation; and the third, Fictition.

Moral: a meal in the hand is worth more than pie in the sky, and you can’t live on thin air.