* Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

* If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing couple of mortgage payments.

* Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize hem, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

* If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

* Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fsh, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

* If you lend someone  £20 and never see that peson again, it was probably well worth it.

* If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

* Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

* Good judgment comes from bad experience … and most of that comes from bad judgment.

* A closed mouth gathers no foot.

* There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

* Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

* Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

* We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our derriere …. then things just keep getting worse.

* Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.