Note from Rowland: The Wittenburg Door is a magazine – now website – which ‘sends up’ all who take themselves too seriously. So don’t be too offended if this strikes a raw nerve: it’s supposed to!

By Dale Peterson

Thank you for choosing to worship with us today. If you are from a church
that uses traditional hymns, you may be confused. Please take a moment to
read through this guide to contemporary Christian music.

In our church you will not hear “How Great Thou Art,” “Wonderful Grace of
Jesus,” or “Like a River Glorious.” (Generally, hymns that have words like
“Thou” are not used. They are too archaic and are normally replaced by words
like “awesome” and “miry clay”). Yes, okay, we may do “Amazing Grace” or
“Peace Like a River” at some point, but as a general rule we avoid songs
with too many different verses or those that can’t be played easily on
guitar and drums.

If you are new to worship here, you may wish to know the reasons for this.
One is that deep theological concepts do not belong in contemporary
Christian worship. We frown on songs that change more than one or two words
for each verse. For example, our version of “Holy is the Lord” consists of
repeating that phrase six times per verse and then changing “Holy” to
“Worthy,” “Mighty,” “Jesus” and finally changing “the” to “my.” Isn’t that
much simpler to sing and easier to remember? The twin goals here are a)
repetition and b) chanting quality. We don’t focus on what we’re singing,
but how we’re singing it. The main thing is to get that kind of tingly,
“olive oily” feeling. Don’t worry if you don’t get this right away. It will
come as you learn to disengage your intellect. Just free yourself. Immerse
yourself. Relax.

Nevertheless, a traditional hymn may sometimes be used. For example, we’re
not averse to “Holy, Holy, Holy.” You may be tempted to sing this as you
would have in your former church, but please note that it is sung here with
changes, mainly the fact that we repeat it several times and try to sing as
slowly as possible, thereby emphasizing the funereal nature of the verse.

Repetition is very important in contemporary Christian music. We repeat:
Repetition is very important in contemporary Christian music. Just because a
song may have one verse and one chorus does not mean that you only sing it
through once. Old hymns have several verses, each of which introduces a new
theological concept, and are meant to be sung once followed by “Amen.” This
is no longer how it’s done. The correct procedure is to sing the identical
verse and chorus at least three times. Often it is preferable to repeat the
verse two times initially before moving on to the chorus.

Also the worship leader may want to repeat a verse or chorus found in the
middle of the song. This is signaled by “calling an audible.” When this
occurs, the worship leader will say the first few words of the verse or
chorus he will be singing next. Sometimes, due to the similarity of the
verses, this may be confusing and the overhead projector may flash several
pages of text until the correct one is arrived at. Don’t panic, this is
normal. Just continue singing as though you know the words and soon either
the correct slide will appear or a new chorus will begin.

After the verse and chorus are sung at least three times, it is permissible
for the song to end. However, the chorus must first be repeated in its
entirety, then the last paragraph, then the last line. When singing the last
line it is important to slow down a little and look upward. Raising a hand
is permissible and often done at this time. This may take a little getting
used to but don’t worry, if you just join in, in a short time you won’t even
notice and soon you will forget that you ever did it any other way.

We are just really glad you chose to share the worship experience with us
today. Thank you and we hope to see you again soon.

Thank you and we hope to see you again soon. Thank you. Thank.

from http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/your-guide-contemporary-christian-music