Clergy/Leaders’ Mail-list No. 1-098

Rod Benson helps dispel popular myths in a series of six sermons:

#3 – If I ignore my pain / problems, they will go away.

——————— UNDERSTANDING MY PAIN ———————

In the song, When I’m Back on My Feet Again, Michael Bolton sings,

Soon these tears will all be dry, soon these eyes will see the sun. Won’t be long, won’t be long, till I see it when I’m back on my feet again.

You know how it is. You’re down, and you can’t get back up again – through illness or injury, psychological scars, injustice – or perhaps just a really bad headache. Australia is a pain conscious nation: think of how many television advertisements you’ve seen promoting pain relief.

Pain is a natural part of life, but we respond to pain in various ways. Probably the most common myth about pain is this: “If I ignore my pain, it will go away.” That’s a destructive myth; it’s like saying, “If I ignore my problems, they’ll go away.” Don’t gloss over your pain. Don’t ignore it.

According to eminent psychiatrist M. Scott Peck, “Fearing pain, almost all of us to a greater or lesser degree attempt to avoid problems. We procrastinate, hoping they will go away. We ignore them and pretend they don’t exist. We attempt to get out of them rather than suffer through them. This tendency to avoid problems, and the emotional pain inherent, is the primary basis of human mental illness.”

God doesn’t want you to ignore your pain – he wants you to discover the cause. Pain is like a warning light in the cockpit of an aircraft: it tells you there’s something wrong that needs to be fixed. The truth is that God uses pain for good in my life. It’s much easier to understand and handle my pain when I know it has a purpose.

GOADING

We’re looking tonight at five ways God uses pain in our lives. First, God uses pain to goad me (to motivate me, to spur me into action). I don’t like going to the dentist; I’ll only go to the dentist when the pain from my toothache is greater than my fear of the dentist’s drill. “Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being” (Proverbs 20:30).

In Luke 15 Jesus tells the story of ‘the lost son’ who takes his inheritance money and travels to a distant country, where he “wasted everything he had . . . he began to hurt . . . That brought him to his senses. He said, ‘ . . . here I am starving to death. I’m going back to my father” (Lk 15:14-18, TM).

His hunger pangs motivated his return to his dad, and prompted his plea for forgiveness and reconciliation. It often takes something serious erupting in our lives before we make the changes we need to make. We rarely change if there’s no pain in our lives.

GUIDING

The second way God uses pain is to guide me. Have you ever ridden a horse, and learned how to turn the horse with a gentle pull on the reins? I started learning horse-riding in primary school, until my teachers realised that putting me in close proximity to a horse led to a serious allergic reaction – and that was the end of horse-riding for me!

But I do know that a horse responds to its rider because of the bit in its mouth. In Psalm 119, the composer recalls some past pain and suffering, and confesses: “it was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws” (Psalm 119:71-72, LB). Sometimes God gets our attention through our pain.

In his book, The Problem of Pain, C.S. Lewis writes that “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, and shouts in our pain. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” Our pain often highlights a need for change; it trains us to modify our attitudes and behaviour. “Let God train you, for he is doing what any loving father does for his children. Whoever heard of a child who was never corrected?” (Hebrews 12:7, LB).

God uses pain to guide us, to correct us, to train us to do what is right. He doesn’t like bringing pain into our lives, but sometimes he has to do it anyway, because he loves us. The greatest insights of life are sometimes found at the centre of a painful experience.

GAUGING

Third, God uses pain to gauge me. He uses it as a measuring tool, gauging the level of my commitment, my maturity, my patience – by how I react to pain. People are like teabags: you don’t know what’s in them until you drop them into hot water. You won’t know what’s in you until you’ve faced the test of pain. Are you really committed to God? Are you as mature, or patient, as you appear to others?

In the Bible, pain is portrayed as a refining fire, burning off our impurities. If you’re in pain this week, for any reason, what are you allowing it to burn off in your life? “I have tested you in the face of affliction,” says the Lord (Isaiah 48:10).

Perhaps God is testing you, gauging you, in preparation for service or ministry. What is he burning off in your life? Materialism? Pride? Impatience? Selfishness? Those who endure strong pain are often the most selfless of people. We can’t easily maintain a smooth image when we’re in pain; we reveal our character strengths and weaknesses by how we respond to pain.

When the pain is on, will your integrity and commitment remain? “Tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colours” (James 1:2-3, TM).

The people of Israel could have walked from Egypt to the promised land in just a few weeks, yet it took them about 40 years! Why? God was gauging his people: “God led you through the wilderness for forty years, humbling and testing you to find out how you would respond, and whether or not you would really obey him” (Deuteronomy 8:2, LB).

In the desert things dry up. In the desert of your life, things dry up too: relationships, emotions, finances, business opportunities, your health, your spirituality. God may be putting you to a test. He may be goading you, or guiding you, or gauging you.

GUARDING

Or he may be protecting you. God uses pain to guard me – to protect me from worse circumstances or environments, keeping me away from dangerous people and places. If my body temperature suddenly rises and I get a fever, it indicates that I have an infection, and I do everything I can to reduce the fever and get well again.

Sometimes a minor pain indicates a major health problem. I occasionally have sudden chest pains, but then they’re gone. What if that’s my body saying, “Slow down, eat less fatty foods, exercise more!” If I don’t listen to my body, I could develop a life-threatening illness.

In the Arabic world, when a lamb is prone to wander from the flock, the shepherd does something to protect it from wild animals or falling off a cliff. He breaks one of its legs, and puts the fractured limb in a splint. The lamb hobbles along, thinking to itself, “I can’t get away, I can’t get away!” And the shepherd says, “Right, you can’t get away.” He’s a good shepherd.

God sometimes puts your life in a splint to keep you wandering too far from the flock, into danger. You may resent it, and you may resist it, but it’s there because God loves you, you’re in his care, and he’s guarding you.

GROWING

Finally, God uses pain to grow me – to make me mature. Pain, like nothing else, promotes growth, maturity, wisdom. “When the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems . . . then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete” (James 1:4, LB). Strength of character emerges through the crucible of pain, as God refines us. Pain is the high cost of growth.

I went snow skiing in 1990 with some young people from Ipswich Baptist Church, and on the slopes we’d remind one another, as our muscles seemed to be burning up, “No pain, no gain.” It’s the same in life. We all want success and rewards, but without the pain. You won’t get there without it.

The very thing that discourages you the most, God uses to grow you. Paul says it like this: “(This situation occurred) . . . so we might learn to trust, not in ourselves, but in God” (1 Corinthians 1:9). Later, he says to those same people, “Now I am glad . . . not because it hurt you but because the pain turned you to God” (2 Corinthians 7:9, LB).

How is God using the pain in your life? To goad you? To guide you? To gauge you? To guard you? Or to grow you? Whatever it is, you can be sure that there’s a reason for it, and God is able to turn it to blessing.

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E025 Copyright (c) 2001 Rod Benson. Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible: New International Version (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1980).

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