Lynne M Baab, Friending: Real Relationships in a Real World (Downers Grove:
IVP, 2011)

Like 600 million people around the world and 10 million other Australians,  I’m a Facebook user. Facebook has helped me connect with high school  friends, keep in touch with family and friends living far away, discuss  spirituality and theology, ask for advice on gardening and parenting, share  photos with family, connect people with church, and communicate with other  networks in which I have an interest. It has its downsides – it adds to  information overload, can become obsessive, increases expectations of  accessibility, and lacks non-verbal conversational cues. The reality is I  can’t have deep friendships with my 1176 FB friends (who’s counting?). But  just as I need a few close friends, a lot of acquaintances help me make the  most out of life. Friendship is a gift and is part of who and what we are  created for. When communication technology can enhance relationships I  welcome it.

Lynne Baab, a Presbyterian minister teaching pastoral theology at the
University of Otago in New Zealand, wrote Friending to bring together some
of her key interests: friendship, spiritual formation and communication
technology. She explores how the internet enhances or detracts form
friendship.

Baab writes as someone who appreciates the strengths of new media and
communication technology but is also aware of its drawbacks. Her book brings
theological reflection and biblical teaching relevant to friendship and
online communication (drawing especially on teaching about love in 1
Corinthians 13 and Colossians 3, and reflecting on stories of friendships
between Mary and Elizabeth, Jesus and his followers, and David and
Jonathan). It is a helpful commentary on how a diverse range of people use
or don’t use different forms of electronic communication (drawing on
interviews with dozens of people of all generations, from children to
pensioners). And she offers practical suggestions on how friendships are
formed and sustained.

Whether in the real world of face-to-face or internet communication, we
cultivate friendships by putting ourselves where people gather, expressing
care, saying thank you, praying for needs, catching up over coffee,
listening intently, being vulnerable, asking for help, giving gifts, spacing
contact, accepting differences and forgiving mistakes. Baab encourages
initiative in these aspects of friending and tells stories of she and others
put it into practice. We live in a world characterised by busyness, mobility
and electronic communication. It is important to understand how these
features influence our friendships. Friending is a helpful guidebook for
anyone who wants to understand and make the most of relationships in the
virtual world.

Darren coordinates leadership training with the Baptist Union of Victoria,
pastors Auburn Baptist Church and has space in his life for more FB friends
and so invites you to friend him at
<http://www.facebook.com/darren.cronshaw>
http://www.facebook.com/darren.cronshaw

Darren Cronshaw

Organizational ecologist,

Auburn Baptist Church and Baptist Union of Victoria

***

Review by Darren Cronshaw for Sight Magazine
<file:///C:/Users/Jenni/Documents/Documents/COLT%20writing/www.sightmagazine
.com.au>  www.sightmagazine.com.au and Witness (Nov 2011)