There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, “Hey, you look familiar.

Are you from around here?” The man answers, “Yeah, I live down the street.”

“No kidding?” says the first man, “Well, so do I. And hey, you look about my age. Where did you go to high school?”

“Oh I went to Francis Lewis over on Utopia. Graduated in ’66.

How ’bout you?”

“Get out. I went to Francis Lewis. And I graduated in ’66, too.” “Where’d you go to college?”

“Beloit, in Wisconsin.”

“No way! I went to Beloit too. What dorm?”

“Kevin Sullivan dorm.”

“Sullivan? You’re not going to believe this . . .”

Joe the bartender walks over, and the first guy says, “Joe, you won’t believe it in a million years. This guy went to the same high school as me, graduated the same year I did, and went to the same college. We were even in the same dorm. Isn’t that amazing?”

Joe looks at them both and says, “Yeah, that’s just plain amazing.”

A third man comes in and says, “Hey Joe. What’s new?” Joe says, “Not much. The Johnson twins are drunk again.”

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Bad Memory

A man walks into the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”

“Do you mean aspirin?” asks the pharmacist.

“That’s it! I can never remember that word!”

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A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?”

“No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with the money?”

He thought for a minute and said, “Well, I guess I’ll go get that drivers’ license.”

The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, “Oh, don’t pay attention to him – he’s a smartass when he’s drunk and stoned.”

The guy from the back seat said, “I TOLD you guys we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car!”

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, “Are we over the border yet?”

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Training

“Where did you receive your training?”

“Yale.”

“Good, and what’s your name?”

“Yim Yohnson.”

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Two men were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other. One of the men said to the other, “Please help yourself.”

The other one said “Okay”, and helped himself to the larger fish.

After a tense silence, the first one said, “Really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!”

The other one replied, “What are you complaining for; you have it, don’t you?”

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