A man was telling his neighbor in Mesa , ‘I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.’

‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’

‘Twelve thirty.’

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Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages?

Peter: Because they had so many knights.

=============================

English School

Donald MacDonald from Scotland went to study at an English university and was living in the
hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his
mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal
and whisky).

“And how do you find the English students, Donald?” she asked.

“Mother,” he replied, “they’re such terrible, noisy people. The one on
that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won’t stop. The one on the other side
screams and screams all night.”

“Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?”

“Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my
bagpipes.”

=================================

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his
tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.”

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend
to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, “Here lies a man who was both
honest and a lawyer.”

That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to
remark:

“That’s Strange!”

=================================

Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy
some chocolate.

“You should give that money to charity,” said the sales girl.

Fred thought for a moment and said, “No, I’ll buy the chocolate. You give the money
to charity.”

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