A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and so lose the ‘war’), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00am.”
The next morning, Mike woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 am and that his friends had left for the golf course without him. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t awakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, “It’s 5:00 am. Wake up.”
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A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally, conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in ¢â‚¬Å“fashion sense. ¢â‚¬ The man walks up to him and says, ¢â‚¬Å“I didn ¢â‚¬â„¢t know you were into earring. ¢â‚¬
¢â‚¬Å“Don ¢â‚¬â„¢t make a big deal, it ¢â‚¬â„¢s only an earring, ¢â‚¬ he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, ¢â‚¬Å“So, how long have you been wearing one? ¢â‚¬ ¢â‚¬Å“Ever since my wife found it in my truck. ¢â‚¬
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Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”
“Only one kiss per yard, ” replied the smirking male clerk.
“That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.
The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. “Grandpa will pay the bill,” she smiled.
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After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up. She changed from the dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV. No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV, than her doorbell rang. There stood her date.
He took one look at her and gasped. “I’m two hours late and you’re still not ready?”
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