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Humor

MORE HUMO[U]R

Alligator’s Teeth

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.

“What is it made of?” she asked.

“Alligator’s teeth,” the Indian replied.

“I suppose,” she said patronizingly, “that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us.”

“Oh no,” he objected. “Anybody can open an oyster.”

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A drunk was walking down the sidewalk with a limp. A man coming in the opposite direction notice that he only had one shoe on.
The man said to the drunk, “hey buddy, what’s the matter, lose a shoe”?
The drunk replied, “Nah, found one”.
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Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Nancy?”

“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish isn’t it?”

Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid cat!”

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A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; “Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?”


The mother paused and looked at her daughter. “Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey.”

The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. “Mother?” She sweetly asked again.

“Yes?” Her Mother replied. “Why is Grandma’s hair all grey?”

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Senior’s Breakfast

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “seniors’ special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.

“Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”

“Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her.

“You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?” My wife asked incredulously. “I’ll take the special.”

“How do you want your eggs?”

“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied. She took the two eggs home. DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS

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