We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

~ Step Five of the Twelve Steps

As any good therapist will tell you, you cannot heal what you do not acknowledge, and what you do not consciously acknowledge will remain in control of you from within, festering anddestroying you and those around you.

When human beings  ¢â‚¬Å“admit ¢â‚¬  to one another  ¢â‚¬Å“the exact nature of their wrongs, ¢â‚¬  we invariably have a human and humanizing encounter that deeply enriches both sides ¢â‚¬”and even changes lives ¢â‚¬”often forever! It is no longer an exercise to achieve moral purity, or regain God ¢â‚¬â„¢s love, but in fact a direct encounter with God ¢â‚¬â„¢s love. It is not about punishing one side but liberating both sides.

This is the way that God seduces us all into the economy of grace ¢â‚¬”by loving us in spite of ourselves in the very places where we cannot, or will not, or dare not love ourselves. God shocks and stuns us into love. God does not love us if we change; God loves us so that we can change.

From Breathing Underwater: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps (Richard Rohr)

~~~

The next one:  

We were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character.

~ Step Six of the Twelve Steps

Here is the paradox of the chicken and the egg. We have to work to see our many resistances,  

excuses, and blockages, but we also have to fully acknowledge that God alone can do  

the  ¢â‚¬Å“removing! ¢â‚¬  Which should come first, grace or responsibility? The answer is that  

both come first. The seeming paradox has been summed up in an old aphorism: No one  

catches the wild ass by running after him, yet only those who run after the wild ass  

ever catch him. It is a lot of work to get out of the way and allow grace to fully  

operate and liberate. We must first fully own and admit that we have  ¢â‚¬Å“defects of  

character, ¢â‚¬  but then equally step back and do nothing about it, as it were, until  

we are  ¢â‚¬Å“entirely ready ¢â‚¬  to let God do the job!

I like to say that we must  ¢â‚¬Å“undergo God. ¢â‚¬  Yes, God is pure and free gift, but there  

is a necessary undergoing to surrender to this Momentous Encounter. As others have  

put it, and it works well in English, to fully understand is always to stand under  

and let things have their way with you. It is strangely a giving up of control to  

receive a free gift and find a new kind of  ¢â‚¬Å“control. ¢â‚¬  Try it and you will believe the paradox  

for yourself.

From Breathing Underwater: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps, pp. 51-54