Spirituality and the Twelve Steps

We made a list of all persons we had harmed,

and became willing to make amends to them all.

~ Step Eight of the Twelve Steps

 ¢â‚¬Å“Amazing grace ¢â‚¬  is not a way to avoid honest human relationships, but to redo them ¢â‚¬”gracefully ¢â‚¬”for the liberation of both sides. Nothing just goes away in the spiritual world; all must be reconciled and accounted for. All healers are wounded healers, as Henri Nouwen said so well. There is no other kind. In fact, you are often most gifted to heal others precisely where you yourself were wounded or wounded others.

You learn to salve the wounds of others by knowing and remembering how much it hurts to hurt. Often this memory comes from the realization of your past smallness and immaturity, your selfishness, your false victimhood, and your cruel victimization of others. It is often painful to recall or admit, yet this is also the grace of lamenting and grieving over how we have hurt others.

From Breathing Underwater: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps, pp. 67, 69

Richard Rohr