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Humor

Humo[u]r

On October 6, 2011 ⋅ Post a comment
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around.
Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on.
Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable.
It’s just that you look just like my son, who just died recently.”
“I’m very sorry,” replied the young man, “is there anything I can do for you?”
“Yes,” she said, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother’? It would make me feel so much better.”
“Sure,” answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!”
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.
“How can that be?” He asked, “I only purchased a few things!”
“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.
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The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Avery, a confirmed bachelor for many years.
“Mr. Avery, don’t leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need.
You only have to say the word and you’ll meet and be married in no time!” says the Matchmaker.
“Don’t bother,” replies Mr. Avery, “I’ve two sisters at home, who look after all my needs.”
“That’s all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife.”
“I said ‘two sisters’. I didn’t say they were mine!”
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Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
She couldn’t control her pupils.
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Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

A: An envelope.

Q: If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

A: Wet.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A: A stick.

Q: What is white when it’s dirty and black when it’s clean?

A: A blackboard.

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When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. “Since I’ve been with the firm for so long,” he said, “I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation.”

The human resources director agreed and said he’d have the letter that next day. The following morning, Peters found the letter on his desk. It read, “Jonathan Peters worked for our company for eleven years. When he left us, we were very satisfied.”

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