Her friend agreed, saying, “It’s true. The lard works in mysterious ways.”
| Two golfers met at the club. “I heard about your terrible tragedy last week,” said one.
“Yes,” said the other sadly, sipping his drink. “I was playing a two-some with Winthrop, and he dropped dead on the ninth hole.” “I understand you carried him all the way back to the clubhouse too,” the first man said sympathetically. “That must have been very difficult, considering Winthrop weighed over two hundred and fifty pounds.” “The carrying wasn’t that hard. It was putting him down at every stroke, then picking him up again that wore me out.” =============== |
The patient ¢â‚¬â„¢s wife asks, “Doctor, when are these medicines to be given?”
Doctor: “These are to be taken by you. He needs rest”
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?”
The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”
“What that tell you?” asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What’s it tell you, Tonto?”
Tonto is silent for a moment, then he says, “Kemo Sabe, you dumber than buffalo dung. Someone has stolen our tent.”
Discussion
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