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Humor

Humor

A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had hit virtually head-on.

One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, “He wouldn’t let me have my half of the road!”

After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked, “That old lady says that you wouldn’t let her have her half of the road. Why not?

In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, “Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road — if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!!!!”

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Have you ever noticed? Anybody  driving a car  slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
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The trumpet player had been blasting away all day, when there was a knock on his door.  ¢â‚¬Å“I live next door to you, ¢â‚¬  he explained.  ¢â‚¬Å“Do you know I work nights? ¢â‚¬   ¢â‚¬Å“No, ¢â‚¬  said the trumpet player,  ¢â‚¬Å“but if you hum a few bars, I ¢â‚¬â„¢ll get the melody. ¢â‚¬   
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Police Dog

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

“Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked.

“It sure is,” I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, “What’d he do?”

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Beard

When a young announcer was raising funds on a local public television station, a woman called in and told the volunteer operator she would donate a hundred dollars if the announcer would shave off his beard.

He agreed to help the cause and returned to work clean-shaven.

The following day, the check arrived from his mother.

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