I’ve sure gotten old! I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I’m half blind,
Can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,

I still have my driver’s license.

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I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor’s permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour..
But, by the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.

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It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

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Q: What’s the definition of mixed emotions?

A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.

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The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. They decided to sell their idea to Henry Ford.

On July 17 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Ford’s office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentleman were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees. They turned on the air conditioner and it cooled the car off immediately. The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million but they wanted recognition by having a label, ‘The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,’ on the dashboard of each and every car in which it was installed.

Now old man Ford was well known to be more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg’s name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for another two hours and finally agreed on $4 million, but that only their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air-conditioners show … Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls.

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