// you’re reading...

Humor

Humo[u]r

A man walks into a doctor ¢â‚¬â„¢s office with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and a grape up his nose. Confused, the man asks: “Doctor what’s wrong with me?” The doctor looks at the man and replies: “You’re not eating properly!”
=====================
Q: Two men are at a restroom, one is entering and the other is leaving. What are their nationalities?

A: Simple! The first is Russian and the second is Finnish.

========================
One night a fellow drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.

The next night the man and his wife were driving to a res- taurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car.

With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That’s when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. “Honey,” she asked, “have you seen my other shoe?”  

========================

A Brave Man

True bravery is arriving home late after a guy’s night out, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask:

“Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”

========================
Needing to shed a few pounds, my wife and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. We followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our individual plates. We felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful — we never even felt hungry!

But soon we realized we were gaining weight, not losing it. Checking the recipes again, we found it. There, in fine print, was: “Serves 6.”

========================

If you would like to added to John’s Clean Humor list send a blank email to[email protected]  with “=Include Me=” in the subject line.

Discussion

No comments for “Humo[u]r”

Post a comment