Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week?

A: A widow.

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How Many Wives?

A little boy was attending his first wedding with the family..

After the service, a cousin wondered aloud, “I wonder how many women can a man marry?”

“Sixteen,” volunteered Jenni’s boy.

The cousin was amazed that the boy had figured it out so quickly and asked, “How do you know that for sure?”

“Easy,” Jenni’s boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, didn’t you hear the preacher say: ‘Four for better, four for worse, four richer, and four poorer,’ and that makes sixteen ”

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Little Mary was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, “Why did the lady change her mind?”

Her mother asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one.”

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Marriage Quotes

— At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”

— A lady inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Husband Wanted”. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

— When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

— A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

— Young son: “Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?” Dad: “That happens in every country, son.”

— Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

— Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a big gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

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An attorney ran over to the office of his client.  ¢â‚¬Å“I can ¢â‚¬â„¢t believe it! ¢â‚¬  said the angered attorney.  ¢â‚¬Å“You sent a case of Dom Perignon to the judge in our case? That judge is as straight as an arrow. Now we ¢â‚¬â„¢re certain to lose this case! ¢â‚¬   ¢â‚¬Å“Relax, ¢â‚¬  said the client,  ¢â‚¬Å“I sent it in the prosecutor ¢â‚¬â„¢s name. ¢â‚¬ 

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