SHADOWLAND

Without a mythological context, sacred text, or some symbolic universe to reveal the greater meaning and significance of our life, we can become trapped in our own very small story. And in that limited story, without any larger perspective, our wounds can make us into embittered victims. We just keep repeating the story line to ourselves over and over, and soon it suffocates us like a python.

The Jesus way is to embrace our wounds and accept them as the price of the journey. We can choose to carry our wounds with dignity until the time comes when we forget why they were so important or debilitating to begin with. The wounds in Jesus ¢â‚¬â„¢ hands, feet and side are still carried in his resurrected body ¢â‚¬”this is quite significant! (John 20:25-28) I think we carry our wounds until the end; they do not fully go away but keep us humble, patient and more open to trust and intimacy. The healing lies in the fact that those same wounds no longer defeat us or cause us to harm ourselves or others. My favorite mystic, Lady Julian of Norwich, puts it this way,  ¢â‚¬Å“our wounds become our honors. ¢â‚¬ 

Adapted from On the Threshold of Transformation: Daily Meditations for Men,  p. 135 day 129

Prayer:  I long for the light.

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Struggling with one ¢â‚¬â„¢s own shadow self, facing interior conflicts and moral failures, undergoing rejections and abandonment, daily humiliations, experiencing any kind of abuse or your own clear limitations, even accepting that some people hate you: All of these are gateways into deeper consciousness and the flowering of the soul. These experiences give us a privileged window into the naked (read  ¢â‚¬Å“undefendable ¢â‚¬ ) now, because impossible contradictions are staring us in the face. Much-needed healing, forgiving what is, weeping over and accepting one ¢â‚¬â„¢s interior poverty and contradictions are normally necessary to invite a person into the contemplative mind. (Watch Paul do this in a classic way from the depths of Romans 7:14 to the heights of his mystic poetry in most of Romans 8.)

In facing the contradictions that we ourselves are, we become living icons of both/and. Once we can accept mercy, it is almost natural to hand it on to others. You become a conduit of what you yourself have received.

From The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See, pp. 125-126

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We only become enlightened as the ego dies to its pretenses, and we begin to be led by soul and Spirit. That dying is something we are led through by the grace of God and by confronting our own shadow. As we learn to move into a Larger Realm, we will almost naturally weep over those sins, as we recognize that we are everything that we hate and attack in other people. Then we begin to become and to live the Great Mystery of compassion.

God ¢â‚¬â„¢s one-of-a-kind job description is that God actually uses our problems to lead us to the full solution. God is the perfect Recycler, and in the economy of grace, nothing is wasted, not even our worst sins and our most stupid mistakes.

From A Lever and a Place to Stand: The Contemplative Stance, The Active Prayer , pp. 39, 42

Prayer: I long for the light.

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In the second half of life, we have been in regular unwelcome contact with the shadow self, which gradually detaches us from our not-so-bright personas that we so diligently constructed in the first half of life. Our  ¢â‚¬Å“stage mask ¢â‚¬  (persona in Greek) is not bad, evil, or necessarily egocentric; it is just not  ¢â‚¬Å“true. ¢â‚¬  It is manufactured and sustained unconsciously by our mind; but it can and will die, as all fictions must die.

Person and shadow are correlative terms. Your shadow is what you refuse to see about yourself, and what you do not want others to see. The more you have cultivated and protected a chosen persona, the more shadow work you will need to do. Be especially careful therefore of any idealized role or self-image, like that of minister, mother, doctor, nice person, professor, moral believer, or president of this or that. These are huge personas to live up to, and they trap many people in lifelong delusion. The more we are attached to and unaware of such a protected self-image, the more shadow self we will likely have. Conversely, the more we live out of our shadow self, the less capable we are of recognizing the persona we are trying to protect and project. It is like a double blindness keeping you from seeing ¢â‚¬”and being ¢â‚¬”your best and deepest self. As Jesus put it:  ¢â‚¬Å“If the lamp within you is, in fact, darkness, what darkness there will be ¢â‚¬  (Matthew 6:23).

From Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, pp. 127-128, pp. 127-128

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The ego is that part of the self that wants to be significant, central, and important. It is very self-protective by its very nature. It must eliminate the negative to succeed. (Jesus would call it the  ¢â‚¬Å“actor ¢â‚¬  in Matthew 23, usually translated from the Greek as  ¢â‚¬Å“hypocrite ¢â‚¬ .)

The shadow is that part of the self that we don ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to see, that we ¢â‚¬â„¢re afraid of and we don ¢â‚¬â„¢t want others to see either. If our  ¢â‚¬Å“actor ¢â‚¬  is well-defended and in denial, the shadow is always hated and projected elsewhere (we tend to hate our own faults in OTHER people!). One point here is crucial: The shadow self is not of itself evil; it just allows you to do evil without recognizing it as evil! That is why Jesus criticizes hypocrisy more than anything else. He does not hate sinners at all, but only people who pretend they are not sinners!

Jesus ¢â‚¬â„¢ phrase for the denied shadow is  ¢â‚¬Å“the plank in your own eye, ¢â‚¬  which you invariably see as the  ¢â‚¬Å“splinter in your brother ¢â‚¬â„¢s eye. ¢â‚¬  Jesus ¢â‚¬â„¢ advice is absolutely perfect.  ¢â‚¬Å“Take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother ¢â‚¬â„¢s eye ¢â‚¬  (Matthew 7:4-5).

From Things Hidden: Scripture as Spirituality, p. 76

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Face the shadow side of yourself, but do not identify with it. It represents only part of who you are. Totally identifying with the shadow leads to much evil in the world. If you live there, you will be driven and motivated by fear, guilt, shame, and even malice. So there is a difference between relating to the denied parts of yourself (bringing light to them), and totally  ¢â‚¬Å“acting them out ¢â‚¬  (which is to leave them in their unconscious and dark state). This is why it is so foundational to know yourself, and to learn to be honest about your real motivations.

When we meet our shadow self, our response should not be anger or surprise as much as sadness. I am sure this is what so many of our saints meant by  ¢â‚¬Å“weeping over their sins, ¢â‚¬  which to most of us seemed a bit dramatic ¢â‚¬”or impossible. We can experience days of deep sorrow after encountering what we ¢â‚¬â„¢ve denied in ourselves for a long time. We get a glimpse of how broken and needy we are. It is a huge humiliation to the ego, and so most people just refuse to do much shadowboxing.

The hero in us wants to attack, fix, or deny the existence of our dark side. We can also be tempted to share dramatically everything about it as a way to control it (sometimes called ventilating or dumping). The saint merely weeps over the shadow and forgives it ¢â‚¬”and by God ¢â‚¬â„¢s grace forgives himself for being a mere human. He opens his arms to that which has been in exile and welcomes it home for the friend that it often is.

Adapted from On the Threshold of Transformation: Daily Meditations for Men,

p. 201, day 195

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All God appears to want from us is honesty and humility (and they are finally the same thing). If God is holding out for human perfection, God is going to have a long wait. There is no other way to read Jesus ¢â‚¬â„¢ stories of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) or the publican and the Pharisee (Luke 18:9-14). In each story, the one who did wrong ends up being right ¢â‚¬”simply because he is honest and humble about it.

How have we been able to miss that important point? I suspect it is because the ego wants to think well of itself and deny any shadow material. Only the soul knows we grow best in the shadowlands. We are blinded inside of either total light or total darkness, but  ¢â‚¬Å“the light shines on inside the darkness, and it is a light that darkness cannot overcome ¢â‚¬  (John 1:5). Ironically, it is in darkness that we find and ever long for more light. Did you know that even physics is now telling us that what looks like total darkness to the human eye is actually filled with neutrinos, which are light? Again, the mystics like John of the Cross knew this to be true on the spiritual level too.

From Breathing under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps, p. 33

Prayer:  I long for the light.

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DISCERNING OUR COMPLICITY

We are all complicit in and benefitting from what Dorothy Day called  ¢â‚¬Å“the dirty rotten system. ¢â‚¬  That ¢â‚¬â„¢s not condemning anybody; it ¢â‚¬â„¢s condemning everybody because we are all complicit and enjoying the fruits of domination and injustice. (Where were your shirts and underwear made?) Usually the only way to be really non-complicit in the system is to choose to live a very simple life. That ¢â‚¬â„¢s the only way out of the system!

Thus most of the great wisdom teachers like Gandhi, Saints Francis and Clare, Simone Weil, Dorothy Day, Jesus and Buddha ¢â‚¬”lived voluntarily simple lives. That ¢â‚¬â„¢s almost the only way to stop bending the knee before the system. This is a truly transfigured life in cultures which are always based on climbing, consumption, and competition (1 John 2:15-17).

Once we idealize social climbing, domination of others, status symbols, power, prestige and possessions, we are part of a never ending game that is almost impossible to escape. It has its own inner logic that is self-maintaining, self-perpetuating, and self-congratulating as well as elitist and exclusionary. It will never create a just or happy world, yet most Christians never call it into question. Jesus came to free us from this lie which will never make us happy anyway, because it ¢â‚¬â„¢s never enough, and we never completely win.

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Leonard Cohen ¢â‚¬â„¢s song,  ¢â‚¬Å“Anthem, ¢â‚¬  states in the refrain:  ¢â‚¬Å“There is a crack in everything. That ¢â‚¬â„¢s how the light gets in. ¢â‚¬  That is a much more poetic way of naming what we unfortunately called  ¢â‚¬Å“original sin ¢â‚¬  ¢â‚¬”a poor choice of words because the word sin implies fault and culpability, and that is precisely not the point! Original sin was trying to warn us that the flaw at the heart of all reality is nothing we did personally, but that there is simply  ¢â‚¬Å“a crack in everything ¢â‚¬  and so we should not be surprised when it shows itself in us or in everything else. It keeps us patient, humble, and less judgmental.

The deep intuitions of most church doctrines are invariably profound and correct, but they are still expressed in mechanical and literal language that everybody either adores, stumbles over, denies, or fights. Hold on for a while until you get to the real meaning, which is far more than the literal meaning! That allows you to creatively critique things ¢â‚¬”without becoming oppositional, hateful, arrogant, and bitter yourself. Some call this  ¢â‚¬Å“appreciative inquiry ¢â‚¬  and it has an entirely different tone that does not invite or create  ¢â‚¬Å“an equal and opposite reaction. ¢â‚¬  The opposite of contemplation is not action; it is reaction. Much of the  ¢â‚¬Å“inconsistent ethic of life, ¢â‚¬  in my opinion, is based on ideological reactions and groupthink, not humble discernment of how darkness hides and  ¢â‚¬Å“how the light gets in. ¢â‚¬ 

Adapted from The Spiral of Violence: The World, the Flesh, and the Devil   (CD/MP3)

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The spiritual gift of discernment (1 Corinthians 12:10) is when good things can be recognized sometimes as bad things, and vice versa. Discernment has largely been undeveloped among ordinary Christians, except among those good Jesuits! It invites people into  ¢â‚¬Å“both/and ¢â‚¬  thinking, rather than simplistic  ¢â‚¬Å“either/or ¢â‚¬  thinking. This is the difference between merely having correct information and the spiritual gift of wisdom (1 Corinthians 12:8-9). Both knowledge and wisdom are good, but wisdom is much better. It demands the maturity of discernment, which is what it takes to develop a truly consistent ethic of life. I admit the vast majority of people are not there yet.

Once we have learned to discern the real, disguised nature of both good and evil, we recognize that everything is broken and fallen, weak and poor, while still being the dwelling place of God ¢â‚¬”you and me, your country, your children, your churches, even your marriage. That is not a put-down, but finally a freedom to love imperfect things! As Jesus told the rich young man,  ¢â‚¬Å“God alone is good! ¢â‚¬  (Mark 10:18). In this, you may have been given the greatest recipe for happiness for the rest of your life. You cannot wait for things to be totally perfect to fall in love with them or you will never love anything. Now, instead, you can love everything.

Adapted from The Spiral of Violence: The World, the Flesh, and the Devil

(CD/MP3)

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 ¢â‚¬Å“Jesus is Lord ¢â‚¬  (Romans 10:10) was proclaimed by the early church as their most concise creedal statement. No one ever told me this was a political and subversive statement, until I studied the Scriptures. To say  ¢â‚¬Å“Jesus is Lord ¢â‚¬  was testing and provoking the Roman pledge of allegiance that every Roman citizen had to shout when they raised their hand to the Roman insignia:  ¢â‚¬Å“Caesar is Lord. ¢â‚¬  Early Christians were quite aware that their  ¢â‚¬Å“citizenship ¢â‚¬  was in a new universal kingdom, announced by Jesus (Philippians 3:20), and that the kingdoms of this world were not their primary loyalty systems. How did we manage to lose that? And what price have we paid for it?

Jesus showed no undue loyalty either to his Jewish religion nor to his Roman-occupied Jewish country; instead, he radically critiqued both of them, and in that he revealed and warned against the idolatrous relationships that most people have with their country and their religion. It has allowed us to justify violence in almost every form and to ignore much of the central teaching of Jesus.

Adapted from The Spiral of Violence: The World, the Flesh, and the Devil

(CD/MP3)

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Cardinal Bernardin, a friend and confidant while I was in Cincinnati, was the first to publicly call for a  ¢â‚¬Å“consistent ethic of life ¢â‚¬  in the late 1970s. He made it clear that until the church starts being honest and defending all life from beginning to end, it cannot call itself  ¢â‚¬Å“pro-life. ¢â‚¬  Otherwise, the very moral principle falls apart. All policies that needlessly destroy life ¢â‚¬”abortion, war, capital punishment, euthanasia, and the selfish destruction of the earth and its creatures ¢â‚¬”are all anti-life and against the fifth commandment,  ¢â‚¬Å“Thou shalt not kill. ¢â‚¬  As you can see, we have a lot of time to make up for, and a lot of moral maturing to do before we can match the clear non-violent teaching and example of Jesus himself (see Matthew 5:38-48).

So we not only need to be consistent between individual morality and social morality, as I stated in yesterday ¢â‚¬â„¢s meditation, but we need to be consistent between all of the various life issues. It is a  ¢â‚¬Å“seamless garment, ¢â‚¬  as Cardinal Bernardin brilliantly called it. Such a theology has teeth and real authority behind it and does not just pander to the cultural values of either the Left or the Right. Like the Gospel itself, it challenges both sides and pleases nobody.

Adapted from The Spiral of Violence: The World, the Flesh, and the Devil

(CD/MP3)

Prayer:  Hold me accountable to Love.

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Up to now, we have almost entirely emphasized personal sin, with little notion of what John Paul II rightly called  ¢â‚¬Å“structural sin ¢â‚¬  or  ¢â‚¬Å“institutional evil. ¢â‚¬  There has been little recognition of the deep connection between the structures that people uncritically accept and the personal evil things they also do.

The individual has usually gotten all the blame, while what Paul called the powers, the sovereignties, and the principalities (Romans 8:38, Colossians 2:15, Ephesians 3:10, 6:12) have gotten off scot-free for most of Christian history. These institutions have an absolute life (and death!) of their own that is usually above normal understanding and eludes any honest critique. In fact, we tend to worship them as mighty and strong, and therefore always good.  ¢â‚¬Å“Too big to fail, ¢â‚¬  we now say.

For example, we idealize public, national wars. In fact, few things are more romanticized than war, except by those who suffer from it. At the same time, we rail against violence in the streets, the violence of our young people, and the violence on the news every night. We are slowly learning that we cannot have it both ways. If violence is a way to solve international problems, then it is a way to solve problems at home too. We can ¢â‚¬â„¢t say it ¢â‚¬â„¢s good here but it ¢â‚¬â„¢s bad there. We know how to name individual sin and evil, but we do not know how to name corporate sin and evil. We have ended up with a very inconsistent morality, which few take seriously any more or even know how to follow. That is why we need a consistent ethic of life.

Adapted from The Spiral of Violence: The World, the Flesh, and the Devil

(CD/MP3)

Prayer: Hold me accountable to Love.