The teacher wrote on the blackboard,  ¢â‚¬Å“I ain ¢â‚¬â„¢t had no fun all summer. ¢â‚¬    ¢â‚¬Å“Now Paul, ¢â‚¬  she said.  ¢â‚¬Å“What shall I do to correct this? ¢â‚¬ 

 ¢â‚¬Å“Get a boy friend. ¢â‚¬  Paul replied.

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“Simon, if I had eight apples in my right hand and ten apples in my left hand, what would I have? ¢â‚¬ 

 ¢â‚¬Å“Huge hands, sir. ¢â‚¬ 

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 ¢â‚¬Å“Will you love me when I ¢â‚¬â„¢m old and ugly? ¢â‚¬ 

 ¢â‚¬Å“Darling, of course I do. ¢â‚¬ 

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A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results.

“I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.”

“Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?”

“Ten,” the doctor says sadly.

“Ten?” the man asks. “Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!”

“Nine…”

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Little Johnny was at football practice one day and the coach said

“Who here thinks they can jump higher than the goal posts”

Immediately little Johnny said, “Ooh me sir me”

The coach then said, “But Johnny you are the worst in the team!”

Then Johnny said, “I know, but goalposts can ¢â‚¬â„¢t jump!”

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