A young child walked up to her mother and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; “Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?”

The mother paused and looked at her daughter. “Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey.”

The mother quickly returned to her task of washing dishes. The little girl stood there thinking. She cleared her throat again. “Mother?” She sweetly asked again.

“Yes?” Her Mother replied. “Why is Grandma’s hair all grey?”

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Earl and Bob, both obsessed with baseball, never missed their favorite team ¢â‚¬â„¢s game. They promised, whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally Earl did. He said to Bob. “I have good news and bad news. I’ll tell you the good news first. There is baseball in heaven.” Bob said, “That ¢â‚¬â„¢s the best news!” Then Earl said, time for the bad news…. ¢â‚¬ You’re pitching tomorrow night.”

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Joe was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sick father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment seminar he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her beauty took his breath away.  ¢â‚¬Å“I may look like just an ordinary man, ¢â‚¬  he said to her,  ¢â‚¬Å“but in just a few years, my father will pass, and I ¢â‚¬â„¢ll inherit his large fortune. ¢â‚¬ 

Impressed, the woman took his business card and three months later, she became Joe ¢â‚¬â„¢s stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men!

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Father Murphy walks into a pub and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?”

The man said, “I do Father.”

The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.”

Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to got to heaven?”

“Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply.

“Then stand over there against the wall,” said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, “Do you want to go to heaven?”

O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father.”

The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?”

O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.”

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