A few years ago the singer B.J. Thomas recorded a hit song called
‘Whatever happened to old fashioned love.’ The song went on: ‘the love
that lasts through the years; the kind of love that my mother and father
had?’

It’s a good question – what did happen to old fashioned love – the
love that required commitment, the kind of love that made lasting
marriages and close families? Love has changed, or so it appears. Love
these days seems to be a temporary or transitional arrangement – a love
that can be adapted to suit ones requirements.

And isn’t that the problem? My understanding of married and family
love is a priority one arrangement. Actually, it was the kind of love
that my mother and father didn’t have because they failed to give it
that priority. To be the kind of love that lasts through the years
requires full-time commitment. It doesn’t just happen – it needs to
have a firm foundation then nurtured. Add a good deal of give and take
on both sides and then you may, indeed, have a love that lasts through
the years. Even our 20th century concept of partnerships and living
together is a denial of commitment as I understand it. It seems to be
saying we will try it for a while and if it doesn’t work out… That
is not commitment, it is experimentation, and that is just too easy to
walk away from. If only the couple are involved then maybe no one is
permanently hurt, but so often there are children who will be
emotionally scarred for life.

Many young couples these days regard the Bible as old hat
particularly those passages of scripture that refer to marriage,
families and commitment. Old hat it may be but it does not alter the
fact that marriages based on biblical principles and families raised on
scriptual concepts are more likely to survive through the years than
those based on a walk in, walk out arrangement. Statistically,
marriages not based on bible principles are twenty-five times more
likely to end in divorce than those that are.

As a marriage counsellor and celebrant I have a duty to talk couples
through the ideals and responsibilities of marriage and so often I have
to admit secretly that the union has little chance of lasting success.
So often they are founded on the basis of ‘me and mine’ rather than ‘us
and ours’. Only once in the past few years has a couple come to me with
the question, ‘We don’t want to make a mistake,’ and in that couple I
recognised firstly, a firm foundation and, secondly, a willngness to
nurture the relationship and give it priority one.

Those 2,000-year-old teachings have as much validity today as they
did when Jesus and Paul ministered. Whatever our relationship we would
all do well to refresh our minds with those words in 1 Corinthians
chapter 13, remembering that it is only culture that has changed, not
the message.

Have a good week. Pastor Ron.
Optional Bible readings: 1
Corinthians chapter 13; Ephesians 5:25 to 6:4

This is one of a series of weekly messages of encouragement
originating from the Derwent Valley, near Hobart, Tasmania, Australia.
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