Julian desires to live not so that she can accumulate wealth, establish a career, make a name for herself, or have children – though in themselves these are not bad things – but at heart, she wants to live that she might have more time to know and love God.

It is easy to live life filled with “fear” that we are going to lose what we have – fear that my job, family, or even life is in jeopardy. There are many reasons for times of fear – we see them graphically portrayed on television and in the lives of our neighbours. In our times, the accelerating pace of change has highlighted this fear for many people. There is a sense that we are losing whatever “control” we might have thought we once had over our destinies. If we are not careful this “fear” can become the defining force in our lives. Every decisions we make, every view we express, every corner of our lives can become driven by this fear. Sadly, this fear can also become a contagious thing, passed on to children, churches, or even countries.

In his first epistle John reminds us that “perfect love drives out fear”. As we grow closer to the love that God has expressed for us in His Word – both written and Living – we can move toward a place where that love becomes the basis of our existence not our fear. In that place of Love – persecution, the future or even death no longer hold a sting for us. Our perception of reality can also begin to radically change – a new courage can begin to shape us. Paul spoke about the way in which he had been constantly on the move. In danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from his own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. He had laboured and toiled and often gone without sleep; he had known hunger and thirst and gone without food; he had been cold and naked. And yet in the place of Love and Grace he felt he could keep going and felt that what ever “price” he needed to pay was okay in the light of the benefits he had received from His Father. The priorities that we think are so important had faded away and a whole new perception of what was important and worthy of effort had taken it’s place.

It is interesting that even though Julian sees this life as not being worthy of much effort and focus – she is reluctant to die. Life here does have at least one great purpose for her – to discover more of God and discover more of how to live a life in keeping with what He would want of her. As she makes clear in other parts of her revelations – this includes her calling to be an example to others – not of her righteousness, but an example of what God’s love really means in a person’s life.

Jude and Doc Martin (JaM) de Graaf