The Army has been experimenting for years to come up with a liquid that will eat through anything  and they finally did it. It eats through glass, stainless steel, iron, and all kinds of metal, rock and granite.

Now if they could only find something to put it in.

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The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car  approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road;  and the student remained completely calm.

 ¢â‚¬Å“This time you ¢â‚¬â„¢re doing fine! ¢â‚¬  exclaimed the instructor.

 ¢â‚¬Å“Yes, ¢â‚¬  the novice driver agreed.

 ¢â‚¬Å“Now when I see another car coming, I shut my eyes. ¢â‚¬ 

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A student burst into his professor ¢â‚¬â„¢s office and says; “Professor Stigler, I don’t believe I deserve this F you’ve given me.”

To which Stigler replied, “I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award.”

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A couple was making their first doctor’s visit prior to the birth of their first child.

After the exam, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife ¢â‚¬â„¢s stomach with indelible ink.

The man and his wife were curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home,  the man took out his magnifying glass to try to see what is was.

In very small letters, the stamp said,  ¢â‚¬Å“When you can read this, come back and see me. ¢â‚¬ 

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People say that there is no difference between  ¢â‚¬Ëœfinished ¢â‚¬â„¢ and  ¢â‚¬Ëœcomplete ¢â‚¬â„¢.

I say there is…..

Marry the right person, and you ¢â‚¬â„¢re  ¢â‚¬Ëœcomplete ¢â‚¬â„¢

Marry the wrong person, and you ¢â‚¬â„¢re  ¢â‚¬Ëœfinished ¢â‚¬â„¢

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