Three old pilots are walking on the ramp. First one says,  ¢â‚¬Å“Windy, isn ¢â‚¬â„¢t it? ¢â‚¬ 

Second says,  ¢â‚¬Å“No, its Thursday! ¢â‚¬ 

Third one says,  ¢â‚¬Å“So am I. Lest go get a beer. ¢â‚¬ 

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A monastery decided to start a fish and chips store.

When the store opened, a client comes in, and asks one of the clerics:

are you the fish fryer?

Oh, no, the cleric answers, I’m the chip monk!

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If you can ¢â‚¬â„¢t find a lawyer who knows the law,

find a lawyer who knows the judge.

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After dying in a car crash, three friends find themselves at an orientation to enter heaven.

Each one was asked, “When you are in your casket, what would you like to hear your friends and family saying about you?”

Sean says, “I would like to hear them say I was a great doctor and a great family man.”

Karl says, “I would like to hear them say I was a wonderful husband and an excellent teacher who made a difference in children’s lives.”

Juan says, “I would like to hear them say, ‘Look! He’s moving!'”

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A drunken man walked up to a parking meter and puts in some change.

The meter goes up to sixty and he says, “Hey, I lost 100 pounds!”

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