Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side?
He’s alright now!

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A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out.

The genie said “I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double.”

The man agreed, and said “I wish I had a mansion.” The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions.

The man said “I would like a million dollars.” The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars.

Then the man said, “Scare me half to death.”

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His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV, adds, just to make conversation.

Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy? ¢â‚¬ 

 ¢â‚¬Å“A box of Tampax, ¢â‚¬  he replied without hesitation.

 ¢â‚¬Å“Tampax? ¢â‚¬  said the doctor.  ¢â‚¬Å“What would you do with that? ¢â‚¬ 

 ¢â‚¬Å“Well, ¢â‚¬  said Johnny,  ¢â‚¬Å“I do not know exactly, but it ¢â‚¬â„¢s sure worth two dollars.

With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to. ¢â‚¬ 

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Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. “What ¢â‚¬â„¢ll be, boys?”

The first vampire says “Blood. Give me blood.”

The second vampire says “I too wish for blood!”

The third vampire says “Give me plasma.”

The Bartender smiles and says “Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light.”

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