We have a generation of bubble-wrapped children, extolled, indulged and rarely criticised.  Source:Supplied

And rather than build the child’s confidence on a solid foundation, unearned praise can lead to kids with huge egos matched only by their sense of entitlement.

Parents, educators and the wider community should listen to leading psychologist, researcher and anti-bullying strategist, Professor Helen McGrath, who warns that the “failed self-esteem movement” is breeding a generation of self-obsessed bullies.

“The silliest thing you can tell children is, ‘If you set your mind to it, you can do anything you want’,” Prof McGrath said. “We’re getting kids who are increasing in their sense of narcissism and the need to be entitled and always get positive feedback. That is a fairly dangerous way for our community to go.”

Well-intentioned parents and teachers have unwittingly contributed to the problem that sees children with big but fragile egos unable to deal with failure. This dysfunction also contributes to the soaring rates of schoolyard and online bullying. International research presented at last year’s National Centre Against Bullying conference showed children with inflated self-esteems were more likely to be ringleaders in tormenting other children.

Despite the popular belief that bullies are inherently insecure, Professor McGrath explains that many are positively overflowing with confidence.

“They have very, very high self-esteem,” she said. “This is quite surprising to most people who think that sometimes those kids who bully might have low self-esteem. It’s quite the opposite.”

We have a generation of bubble-wrapped children, extolled, indulged and rarely criticised, with an overblown view of themselves. Unchecked parental praise is now being duplicated in schools and sports clubs. Kids with no sporting ability have a mantle full of trophies, tone deaf youngsters are never told that singing stardom is not in their future and academically challenged students receive as many certificates as the brightest in their class.

Parents are so desperate to boost their offspring’s confidence that they have forgotten how to censure and discipline. There is no room for acknowledging shortcomings lest the child’s self-esteem be forever wounded. By rewarding mediocrity, we have given children a false sense of entitlement and inability to deal with failure. Mollycoddled children have no coping mechanisms, nothing to prepare them for the trials of the big, bad world.

Without the requisite psychological resilience, children can be easily distressed by the smallest of disappointments. Even losing a game of tiggy is traumatic for some delicate tykes. Last term a Melbourne primary school temporarily banned tiggy after concerns that the game created too much angst and conflict.

MANY Victorian schools this year had bans on children swapping footy cards in an attempt to spare students the anguish of poor trades. Victorian Principals Association president, Gabrielle Leigh, believes you need to put such “parameters around playtime” to ensure “that everybody is safe in the school environment”. What utter balderdash. Since when has being on the receiving end of a lousy footy card or Pokemon trade been considered a safety issue?

It is preciousness that is counterproductive to building a happy, well-adjusted child. On the one hand schools are depriving youngsters of the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and build vital coping skills and on the other they are running “resilience programs” to help students cope with minor frustrations.

Ms Leigh is concerned by schoolyard discontent spilling into the classroom. She said: “Disputes can flow over into learning time and they can bring in a whole lot of anger, where that really takes away from their ability to learn.”

But the school playground is an extension of the classroom in being a learning environment. Some may argue it is even more crucial in shaping a child’s character than what occurs in class. In the schoolyard they learn to communicate and negotiate with their contemporaries. It is where they learn which friends are reliable and which will let them down. Human nature, social dynamics, playground politics  ¢â‚¬ ¦ these are all critically important life lessons that children learn at school, away from the classroom. With the increasing number of single-child families, the school environment is even more important in facilitating the above.

Overprotective parents are to blame for pressuring teachers to shield their offspring from any disappointment or conflict. If a child is so delicate that they can’t cope with losing a game of tiggy or a bad footy card trade, then that is a failure of the parent. Schools shouldn’t indulge the minority of parents by catering to their irrational, neurotic whims.

There is little doubt that resilience and happiness are intrinsically linked. Children are naturally resilient, but we are making them weak by shielding them from life with our efforts to protect often causing more harm than good. The phrase “killing with kindness” comes to mind.

Rita Panahi is a  Herald Sun  columnist.