Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets’ and eight or ten roosters, to fertilise the pullets’ eggs. Trevor kept records and any rooster that didn’t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Trevor could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer’s favourite rooster was Kevin, and a very fine specimen he was too, but on this particular morning Trevor noticed Kevin’s bell hadn’t rung at all! Trevor went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover but to farmer Trevor’s amazement, Kevin had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Trevor was so proud of Kevin, he entered him into the Brisbane Exhibition and Kevin became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The Result? The judges not only awarded Kevin the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly Kevin was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

Do you know a Pulletician called Kevin?…………

~~

Now these from me mate John:

Mrs. Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding.

After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over.

Patty asked her mother,  ¢â‚¬Å“Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?

 ¢â‚¬Å“How do you mean, change her mind? ¢â‚¬  asked Mrs. Sullivan.

 ¢â‚¬Å“Well said the child,  ¢â‚¬Å“she went into the church with one man and came out with another! ¢â‚¬ 

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A distraught older woman is looking at herself in the mirror and crying.

Her voice shakes as she says to her husband, “I’m so old. I’m so fat. I look horrible. I really need a compliment.”

Her husband, determined to quickly give his beloved the comfort she needs, exclaims, “Damn, do you have good eyesight!”

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A frustrated father told a work colleague:  ¢â‚¬Å“When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper.

But in my son ¢â‚¬â„¢s room, he has his own color TV, computer, games console, cell phone and CD player. ¢â‚¬ 

 ¢â‚¬Å“So what do you do? ¢â‚¬  The father replied:

 ¢â‚¬Å“I send him to my room! ¢â‚¬ 

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