From a crazy clergy-friend:There are three unchangeable religious facts:
The Jews do not recognise Jesus as the Messiah
Protestants do not recognise the Pope as the head of the church
Baptist pastors do not recognise each other in a hotel bar
Last Christmas I broke one of those rules, when I was making my way across the vast glass atrium of the Hotel Sofitel in Collins Street Melbourne.
I came across clusters of people who seemed to be heavily into deep discussion. As I kept going, picking up strange mentions of castles, bishops and pawns, I suddenly realised that I ¢â‚¬â„¢d come across a break during a chess tournament. But what really caught my ear was when I heard all the bragging about strategies, tactics and trophies; and I found it hard to tear myself away.
Call me sentimental if you like, but I just love the sound of chess nuts boasting in an open foyer…..~~~
A lady says to her doctor: “My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?”
The doctor replies: “Give him the opportunity to speak while he’s awake!”
The doctor replies: “Give him the opportunity to speak while he’s awake!”
~~~
In a restaurant far from home, a food-loving rabbi felt safe enough to test Jewish dietary laws.
He ordered roast pork.
But just as his meal arrived ¢â‚¬”a whole suckling pig with a huge apple jammed its snout ¢â‚¬”he looked up to see his home town ¢â‚¬â„¢s worst gossip suddenly walking in the door. And right up to his table.
He shrugged, ¢â‚¬Å“So, I order baked apple; and this is how they serve it to me? ¢â‚¬
~~
Belly Buttons
1. Did Adam and Eve have navels?
2. Navels are most useful as a spot to put salt when lying on your back in bed and eating celery
3. An officer tells a civilian he’s a naval surgeon. ‘Goodness me,’ the man replies, ‘how you surgeons specialize!’
Discussion
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