Field of tainted dreams

IMAGE: WOMEN FOOTBALLERS READY TO PLAY (GETTY IMAGES)

Homophobia is rife in Australian sport. Whether playing at the local park or representing their country, gay and lesbian athletes routinely hide their sexuality to avoid abuse while pursuing the sport they love.  Sarah Dingle  investigates how difficult it is to come out on the field.

It ¢â‚¬â„¢s a cold Tuesday night at footy training.

Sean Towner is the captain of Penleigh and Essendon Grammar School ¢â‚¬”or PEGS ¢â‚¬”Australian Football Club.

He ¢â‚¬â„¢s the first ever captain in the Victorian Amateur Football Association to be openly gay, but he was in the closet for years.

What made him hide his sexuality wasn ¢â‚¬â„¢t targeted abuse, but casual homophobic language, including from friends and teammates ¢â‚¬” terms like  ¢â‚¬Ëœfaggot ¢â‚¬â„¢.

 ¢â‚¬ËœHow you hear that homophobic language used, the word  ¢â‚¬Å“gay ¢â‚¬  used in a negative context, was quite damaging to an extent, because you think:  ¢â‚¬Å“Okay, does that mean they are going to have a negative opinion of me when I come out?” Therefore I’ve got to stay in the closet and that goes back into that cycle of being in a bad head space.’

It ¢â‚¬â„¢s not an uncommon experience. Playing for a university rugby club Ben experienced homophobia that was verbal and physical.  ¢â‚¬ËœWhen we were doing tackling drills this particular guy would make sure that he was the one holding the pads. When it was my turn he used to like to drop the pad down before I got to him and just give me a nudge with his elbow to the side of my head pretty much. ¢â‚¬â„¢

Ben took it to his club, but it didn ¢â‚¬â„¢t act on the information.

 ¢â‚¬ËœThey said just see how it goes, we don ¢â‚¬â„¢t want to stir the pot too much, ¢â‚¬â„¢ he says.

Ben won ¢â‚¬â„¢t name the club, but says the verbal and physical abuse continued for the rest of the season.

Australia ¢â‚¬â„¢s most capped female cricketer, Alex Blackwell, is in her 12th year playing for her country.

She ¢â‚¬â„¢s made it all the way to the top, but even there she ¢â‚¬â„¢s come across homophobia.

 ¢â‚¬ËœIt was a comment made at a cricket event by someone working in cricket … This person ¢â‚¬â„¢s attitude was the fewer lesbians in the team, that would be a better thing, ¢â‚¬â„¢ she says.  ¢â‚¬ËœIt was a comment that made me feel like:  ¢â‚¬Å“What have I been doing for the last 10 years representing Australia when the attitude is it would be better if I just leave? ¢â‚¬  ¢â‚¬â„¢

A landmark international study on homophobia in sport will be released this weekend.

 ¢â‚¬ËœWe have a problem, we definitely have a problem, ¢â‚¬â„¢ says La Trobe University sports academic David Lowden.  ¢â‚¬ËœWe have gay soldiers, gay artists, but for some reason in sport it ¢â‚¬â„¢s one step too far. ¢â‚¬â„¢

Lowden is conducting groundbreaking research into homosexuality and the AFL.

Such is the sensitivity around his work that he won ¢â‚¬â„¢t answer any questions about it at all.

 ¢â‚¬ËœThe reason that I can’t answer is because there is the potential for harm by even talking about it,’ he says. ‘I actually gave a lot of thought about even conducting this interview because there’s a necessity to proceed quietly to gather this research because there are undoubtedly, I would say, gay footballers. ¢â‚¬â„¢

Former Matilda Sally Shipard, who spent 10 years playing soccer for her country, says her team was always completely accepting of her sexuality. According to her, the situation would have been very different in the Socceroos, where she knows at least one player who has hidden his sexuality.

 ¢â‚¬ËœHe doesn ¢â‚¬â„¢t think that he would ¢â‚¬â„¢ve gotten to where he did if he had been open about his sexuality ¢â‚¬”which kinda sucked hearing, ¢â‚¬â„¢ says Shipard.

Time and time again Background Briefing was told of past and present elite male footballers in several codes who are gay but are still too afraid to come out.

Homophobic language plays a big role in that, according to gay players. Brennan Bastyovansky, who plays for gay rugby team the Sydney Convicts, points to one recent incident.

 ¢â‚¬ËœYou had the incident with the Waratahs where Jacques Potgieter called somebody a faggot a couple of times. It’s rumoured that there are gay people on both the Waratahs and the Brumbies,’ he says.

‘Some of my friends have dated them … we know of people through rumour that play on the Wallabies, the Brumbies, the Waratahs and the All Blacks. ¢â‚¬â„¢

Victorian amateur footballer Sean Towner suggests the situation is similar in the AFL.

‘Statistics do suggest there is 9 per cent, 10 per cent of the population identifies as same sex attracted and that wouldn ¢â‚¬â„¢t be any different within the AFL ranks, ¢â‚¬â„¢ he says.

 ¢â‚¬Ëœ[There are] probably 10 to 15 that I ¢â‚¬â„¢ve heard of [in the AFL]. ¢â‚¬â„¢

The decision to come out is an individual choice, but when no one feels safe enough to do so, something ¢â‚¬â„¢s wrong.

Towner issues a plea to any gay professional footballers afraid of coming out:  ¢â‚¬ËœNo matter what you do, there is always going to be people that try and want to be mad at something, but the level of support out there will far outweigh anything else in my opinion.

 ¢â‚¬ËœLook at it as putting yourself on the right side of history and being someone that your younger 12- to 15-year-old self can look up to and be proud of for that next generation coming through. They’ll have that role model that you didn’t have. Maybe it will make it easier for them. ¢â‚¬â„¢

If you or somebody you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Background Briefing  is investigative journalism at its finest, exploring the issues of the day and examining society in a lively on-the-road documentary style.

This article represents part of a larger  Background Briefing  investigation. Listen to Sarah Dingle’s full report on Sunday at 8.05 am or use the podcast links above after broadcast.

http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/backgroundbriefing/field-of-tainted-dreams/6444034