"it longyth properly to us, both be kynd and be grace, to longen and desiren
with al our myghts to knowen ourselfe in fulhede of endles joye." Julian, XLVI

(it is proper for us, both in nature and in grace, to long and desire with all our
might to know ourselves in the fullness of eternal joy)

It is not difficult to become obsessed with measuring ourselves against others. Early
on in our lives it is an essential part of growth, the small child walks on the wet sand
and places her feet in the foot prints of her father – imagining herself growing to his
stature. As we grow mentors and role models play essential parts in the creation of a
script relevant to our lives. We listen to the words, watch the actions, take on the
values of those we respect and depend on. In the "ideal" this parenting /
mentoring is in the context of a love that is freely and lavishly given, and is sensitive
to the individuality of the child. The child then is nurtured to grow beyond blind
imitation and confidently see herself as a unique, loved, and lovable individual.

Humankind does not always pass on this sense of self as well as it might. Parents are
distracted by their own issues and fears; mentors too often see their task as imposing an
ideology rather than nurturing a God-created individual. As fallen beings, it is
momentously difficult to find the love-driven focus on the "other" which is
required in our calling to encourage their fullness.

Even churches can, at times, give the impression that finding peace, being fulfilled,
being "Christ-like" is somehow simply a matter of following some pre-ordained
cardboard cut-out.

So, the generations come and pass asking the great "why?" questions. Julian
makes it clear that it is right and proper for these questions to be asked. It is
frustrating when we discover we have only been using a fraction of a machine because of
our ignorance on its variety of functions. Our Maker and His "product" is
immensely more rich and complex, so why be satisfied with the narrow definitions? And yet,
if the context of exploring potential is one of fear, prejudice, and myopia we are
unlikely to move. We will look to others to fulfil us, seek out emotional and spiritual
hiding places in which to find our meaning or at least, avoid the frightening questions.
Thrash around asking the gnawing within.

Julian says, yes ask the questions but in the context of Jesus. In the context of His
love our fear can fade. If I know He is in control of the edges I need not be afraid that
I will somehow stumble over them while seeking where I belong. Understanding that in
God’s hands I have been "fearfully and wonderfully made" and also redeemed
and recreated into a precious reflection of His glory – inspires me to explore and
stretch the boundaries of my being and potential. Knowing that He is excited by variety
and is thorough in what He has done, excites me to hold up the different sides of the
diamond that is me to the light with out fear that the flaws within will some how shut out
the Light.

Earlier in chapter 46, Julian says that "the nearer we are to happiness, the more
we necessarily long for it." Yes, we will not fully know ourselves in our new
re-created, redeemed form until we stand naked and free before our creator – but as
come closer to that day when at last all His inbuilt potential, passion and gifting can
fly free – it is only natural that the yearning within us to fly freely according to
that pattern will only grow.

A thought: Any attempt at analysing and teaching Church History that only looks at the
past is only half done. If we understand and teach Gothic, with no consideration of the
Goths (the nineties sub-group, not the tribe) we’ve failed in our
endeavour.    Jude and Doc Martin (JaM) de Graaf  

Neither fondness for my son, nor reverence
For my aged father, nor the debt of love
That should have cheered Penelope, Could conquer in me the lust
To experience the far-flung world
And human vice and bravery.
            Ulysses chatting to
Dante in the "Inferno"

Christian critique from an Australian perspective:
http://www.shootthemessenger.com.au