My wife and I raised four “P. K.s (That stands for “Preacher’s Kids” as every P. K. knows). I don’t hold myself up as a shinning example of success in this enterprise, but I do feel like I should qualify for combat pay.

People say some amazingly insensitive things about P. K.’s I have been asked, “Why are the preacher’s kid’s always the meanest kids in church.” I usually responded, “Because they grow up with the member’s kids and pick up the accumulated mischief of all the church member’s kids.” Recently, I heard one adult P. K. ask another, “Did you go crazy before or after you left home? It’s not a question of `if you did,’ but `when you did.'” I don’t have a clever retort for that one, although I question the accuracy of the comment.

Some P. K.’s think being a preacher’s kid is a fate worse than death, but the experience can also toughen them up for some of life’s hard knocks later on. Looking back on it, I think the toughest aspect of their childhood was dealing with rejection. My four had different ways of handling it. One was a loner with “in-your-face” responses to “goody two shoes” indictments. I think some of them probably would have preferred to have been the children of a stockbroker, an airplane pilot or even a gear jammer on an 18 wheeler.

How can you help a P. K? Well you could start by viewing them as normal people. Church people can help by lowering their expectations. A P. K. shouldn’t have to explain second century Gnosticism to a fifth grade Sunday school class, just because his Dad is in the pulpit on Sunday. P. K.’s should be treated like other Christian boys and girls. Finally, Dads – those of us who saddled them with this role in life – have an important responsibility. Paul wrote in Colossians 3:21, ” Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”

How do you assuage the tender feelings, fragile egos and disappointment of a child who is struggling for a sense of self worth and trying to live up to additional expectations because of his father’s ministry? You begin by listening. If they fail, you don’t pressure them into thinking they have placed your job in jeopardy. It’s also wise to affirm a child’s strengths, gifts, and abilities. The pain of rejection is inevitable in every child’s life, but the wise parent looks for a way to help the child see the pain of rejection as a stepping stone to growth. This is especially important for P. K.’s.

Minden Church of Christ

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