SEPARATENESS AND TOGETHERNESS

by David & Claudia Arp, authors of THE SECOND HALF OF
MARRIAGE and 10 GREAT DATES TO REVITALIZE YOUR MARRIAGE

Is it possible to be too close to your mate? Some couples
complain of not having enough time with each other. On the
other end of the spectrum are the couples who are together
continuously.

The question is, “How can we reach the right balance?” Take
us, for example. We work closely together, but we’ve found
that too much togetherness can be negative. At times we
simply need to a break from each other.

The opposite is the couple whose lives and activities barely
ever cross paths. We know one couple who both travel in
their jobs. Their daily communication time is 10 p.m. via
telephone.

Somewhere there is a balance. To see where you are in this
area, make a list of your different responsibilities and
activities. Then go back and label them as:

A – Something I do mainly alone.

T – Something I do mainly with my mate.

O – Something I do mainly with people other than my mate.

Take some time and discuss your list with one another. Then
discuss the following three questions:

1. Are we doing enough creative things together?

2. Are we involved in enough activities to meet our separate
needs as individuals?

3. Do we need to make any changes in our activities in order
to keep a healthy balance?

If the answer to that last question is yes, it’s time to
pull out your calendar and make some changes! Remember, it
will add to the balance sheet of your marriage!

This Marriage Builder is excerpted from the book, 60
ONE-MINUTE MARRIAGE BUILDERS, by Dave & Claudia Arp. For
information about how to order this book, or other Marriage
Alive Couple Enrichment resources, email

Visit the new Marriage Alive Web site at this address:
http://www.marriagealive.com