MY BEST FRIEND by David & Claudia Arp, authors of THE SECOND HALF OF MARRIAGE and 10 GREAT DATES TO REVITALIZE YOUR MARRIAGE

Is your spouse your best friend? Friendship in marriage — especially in the second half — is important. Think about it. Have you ever met a couple on the way to the divorce court who were best friends and having fun together?

What can you do to build your friendship? An important part of friendship in marriage is simply spending time together. Daily we have the opportunity to encourage each other and to deepen our friendship, but we must be intentional about it!

According to psychologist Richard Matterson and Janis Long Harris, men and women have different friendship styles. Men value doing things together, while women value talking together. For that reason, shared activities and regular times to talk go hand in hand, allowing the friendship needs of each spouse to be met.

We asked recent Marriage Alive seminar participants how they are building their friendship. Here are some of their responses. Note that all include talking and doing something together!

“We like to take the back roads, get lost, and then find our way home again.”

“We like to cook together. Lately, we’ve been learning to cook Chinese.”

“We pick berries together.”

“We learned to sail together.”

“We like to rock on our double rocker on our screened porch.”

“We do organic gardening.”

“On Saturday morning we have a standing date to run errands together.”

Make your own fun list of things you can do that include both talking and activity. You’ll see your friendship flourish! Plus you’ll have some fun!

This Marriage Builder is excerpted from the Gold Medallion winning book, THE SECOND HALF OF MARRIAGE, by David & Claudia Arp. For information about how to order this book, or other Marriage Alive Couple Enrichment resources, email

Visit the Marriage Alive Web site at: http://www.marriagealive.com