by Norman Bales

“Tell me what he’s got that I ain’t got.” The lyrics of a mostly forgettable country song expose the raw bitterness of human jealousy. In terms of sheer destructive potential, jealousy poses a greater threat to peaceful relationships at home than just about any passion you can name. Jealousy gives birth to suspicion, envy, anxiety and even paranoia. Charles Caleb Colton once said, “Of all the passions, jealousy is that which exacts the hardest service and pays the bitterest wages.”

Jealousy has been called the “green eyed monster,” a label we picked up in the writings of the brilliant bard from Stratford-on-Avon, William Shakespeare. In Othello, Iago is heard to say, “O! beware my lord, of jealously; It is the green-eye’d monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.” Apparently Shakespeare believed that green eyed cats make fun of their food. According to another theory, he was talking about crocodiles. Either way he was saying that jealousy mocks its victim by loving it and hating it at the same time.

No wonder the Bible addresses the subject of jealousy in negative terms. In 1 Corinthians 3:3, Paul writes, “For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly?” In Romans 13:13, jealousy is put in the same category with orgies, drunkenness, sexual immorality and debauchery.

How can we overcome such a destructive emotion? Quite obviously just saying, “I’m not going to be jealous anymore,” is not going to do the trick. The best place to start is by trying to figure out why you are jealous. Most people never analyze their feelings; they just react. When you really stop to think about it, was the action of the other party really all that threatening? Could it be that your pain was caused by something that happened a long time ago and the current circumstances just reminded you of the hurt? It’s amazing how many times our jealous feelings subside when we reason with our heads instead of our emotions.

A jealous person is not easy to live with. Relationships flourish in an atmosphere of trust and confidence. If you want love to grow, give the other person the benefit of the doubt. We would all do well to remember the wisdom of William Penn, “The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.”

Shalom!
Rowland Croucher