By Ruby Kalnajs

So you think the single people have it easy. Boy that’s the life.
No kids, no responsibilities, plenty of time, plenty of money. If we
could all have it that easy. Well if you’re single, you are probably
either laughing or infuriated by those opening statements. It is a
misconception that single life is all fun and games. As much a
misconception that married life is all drudgery. The truth is marriage
and singleness both have their joys as well as their challenges.

If you were married at a young age or just out of college, then you
probably don’t understand what it is like to be a single adult in the
“real world”. With the exception of children, imagine all the decisions
you and your spouse have to make. Where to live, where to work, what
car to drive, what house to buy, what church to go to, etc. Now imagine
having to make all those decisions alone. For some single people, it
offers a challenge, but for many it makes life that much harder and that
much lonelier. Remember when you were in high school or college and the
big question was always what you would do on the weekends and who you
would do it with. Guess what? For the single adult, that’s still a big
question. The things that you struggled with in college and high school
in terms of relationships with the opposite sex are still very real for
the adult single. It’s bad enough when you are young, but when you’re
older, it’s even worse.

Think of your church activities. There’s the family picnic, the
couples and families you have over for dinner, the married couples
class, the parenting class, etc., etc., etc. When a new couple comes to
your church everyone is eager to have them over for dinner or invite
them to their small group. But what about the single adult? Many times
they are overlooked. People aren’t as eager to invite them over because
they “just don’t know what to do with them.” Unless you are in a place
where the church has a really strong singles program, you really have a
hard task in front of you to try and fit in to a church family. Let’s
face it most churches just aren’t prepared to meet the needs of the
single Christian.

I was single until I was 29 years old. I lived in a town where my
closest family members were a 13-hour drive away. Some of my most
valuable friendships were with people who were married and had families.
I had dinner with them in their homes and I had them over to my
apartment. I had special relationships with their children. I needed
that family interaction which I couldn’t get without them. Some of my
fondest memories as a single adult were spent with a family who has four
children.

While there are benefits to being single, the single person’s life
is not all fun and games. You may think that single people are too busy
with their fun filled lives to hang out with “boring married people”,
but being single can be very lonely. Many single adults long for
relationships of all kinds. Not all single people are outgoing and feel
comfortable initiating relationships. Many feel the same way about you
that you do about them. “They have their spouse and their children and
their married friends; what could I possibly offer them.” They may need
for you to take the initiative. Invite them over for dinner. Invite
them to a family picnic. Start a Bible class that encourages dialogue
between married people and single people. Invite two or three over at a
time, if it makes you feel more comfortable. (Just make sure it is a
time for you to get to know them, not an effort at matchmaking.)

We are missing out on some important relationships. We can gain so
much from each other and we cheat ourselves if we don’t engage in
friendships that make us stretch and grow. We need people from all
walks of life. Younger people can benefit greatly from relationships
with older people. People with children need people who don’t have
children. And married people and single people can really have an
impact on each other’s lives. My faith, my relationship with God and my
marriage are so much stronger because of the relationships I had with
the members of my church family that weren’t single.

Take some time to get to know the single people at your
congregation. You will both be richly blessed!!!!!