Remember that excerpt from the Home Economics Book in the ’50s?
Well, someone created a 90’s version which is listed after the original,
for your entertainment and enlightenment.

1950’s VERSION

The following is from an actual 1950’s Home Economics textbook
intended for High School girls, teaching them how to prepare for married
life.

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a
delicious meal – on time. This is a way of letting him know that you
have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most
men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are
part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be
refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your
hair and be fresh- looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary
people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day
may need a lift.

3. Clear away clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of
the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books,
toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband
will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you
a lift too.

4. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s
hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary,
change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to
see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all
noise of washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be
quiet. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some DONT’S: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t
complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with
what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair
or suggest he lay down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready
for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in
a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and
unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the
moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out
to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand
his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

10. The Goal: try to make your home a place of peace and order
where your husband can relax.

Now the updated version for the 90’s woman

1. Have dinner ready. Make reservations ahead of time. If your
day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding
where you’d like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your
day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2. Prepare yourself. A quick stop at the "LANCOME"
counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep
you from becoming irritated every time he opens his mouth. (Don’t
forget to use his credit card !)

3. Clear away the clutter. Call the housekeeper and tell her that
any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed
in the Goodwill box in the garage.

4. Prepare the children. Send the children to their rooms to watch
television or play Nintendo. After all, both of them are from his
previous marriages.

5. Minimize the noise: If you happen to be home when he arrives,
be in the bathroom with the door locked.

6. Some DONT’S: Don’t greet him with problems and complaints. Let
him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and
remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don’t complain if he’s late
for dinner, simply remind him that the leftovers are in the fridge and
you left the dishes for him to do.

7. Make him comfortable: Tell him where he can find a blanket if
he’s cold. This will really show you care.

8. Listen to him: But don’t ever let him get the last word.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you
out to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go
shopping (use his credit card). Familiarize him with the phrase
"Girls’ Night Out!"

10. The Goal: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him
that he only thinks the world revolves around him. Obviously he’s
wrong, it revolves around you.