Out Of Control
by Norman Bales
During the Cold War era, an author published a book about human
conflict that has long since been forgotten. I don’t even recall
the exact title. It was something like Resolving Conflict with the
Soviet Union and Your Wife. The underlying premise of the man’s
book was the belief that all conflict, whether in the family or
international affairs, revolves around a struggle for power.
His premise cannot be denied. The struggle, taking place in the
Balkans, is a quest for power. At a different level power
struggles occur everyday in the work place, the market place, the
church and even in the home.
Power urges seem to be a part of our nature. We feel important
when we can control others. Not infrequently, I hear people
describe their feelings of unhappiness with the comment, “I’m out
of control.” What does that mean? Perhaps the people who say that
mean they have failed to control their own lusts, feelings or
behaviors. On the other hand, it can also mean they feel
frustration because they are unable to force compliance from
others.
The desire to “boss” others is an ungodly urge. Jesus addresses
the subject in language that cannot be misinterpreted. “For
everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles
himself will be exalted” (Luke 14:11). He leaves absolutely no
room for power plays, manipulative games, or rule by threat and
intimidation. Jesus saw that relationship style among the Gentiles
and he said flatly to his disciples, ” . . . you are not to be
like that” (Luke 22:26).
Was Jesus advocating anarchy for the world, the church and the
home? Absolutely not. Authority exists in every one of those
structures, but there is a difference between authority and power.
Power is the ability to force people to do as we wish them to even
when it is against their will. Authority is the ability to
persuade people to comply with our requests because they trust our
leadership.
To some, that may not sound like authority at all, but when you
stop and think about it, the only real power we have over others is
our ability to persuade. When we are reduced to using the
techniques of coercion, we are really “out of control.”
Discussion
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