NEIL ANDERSON DAILY DEVOTIONAL
from Freedom in Christ Ministries

June 21

The Issue Of Control

The fruit of the Spirit is . . . self-control (Galatians 5:22,
23).

More times than not, the need to control our children comes from
the false belief that our identity and worth derives from how
well our children behave. Think it through: If your worth comes
from something outside yourself, your tendency is to control the
people and factors on which your worth is based. Look at sick
dictators like Adolf Hitler and Saddam Hussein who control their
subjects through ruthless force and intimidation. But there is no
one more insecure than a controller, because he labors under the
false belief that the external affairs of this world are
determining who he is, not God and his response to Him. The fruit
of the Spirit is self-control (Galatians 5:23), not child- or
spouse-control.

If your identity is in Christ and your heart is set on being the
person God wants you to be, nobody can block that goal but you.
“But what if my child rebels?” you ask. Your child can’t stop you
from being the father or mother God wants you to be. Only you can
do that. In reality, during a crisis of rebellion, your child and
your spouse need you to be the parent God wants you to be more
than ever.

Massive research has shown that the best children come from
parents who love their children and manage their behavior. The
worst children come from loveless controllers. The second best
children are raised by permissive parents who love
unconditionally.

Here’s the point: You may not always be able to control your
child, but based on your position and character in Christ, you
can always love him. Loving your child is dependent only on you
and your response to God. Controlling him is somewhat dependent
on the cooperation of your child. Your identity and security in
Christ do not depend on things you have no right or ability to
control.

Lord, continue to mature me as a loving parent and keep me from
trying to control my children from selfish motives.

This daily devotional is published and distributed by
http://www.GOSHEN.net/ . It is written by Neil Anderson at
http://www.freedominchrist.com/ .