INTRODUCTION
by Norman Bales
Happiness is an elusive dream. Most of us seek it, but do we really know what it will
take to make us happy? If I were to ask, "What would it take to make you happy?"
how would you respond? Some typical answers might include:
1. Money.
2 Possessions
3 Health
4 Recreation
5 Pleasure
6 Success
7 Power
8 Popularity
DISCUSSION
* Can you define happiness?
Some random definitions from folks who have given thought to the matter "True
happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises in the first
place from the enjoyment of one’s self, and in the next from friendship and conversation
of a few select companions." – Joseph Addison The Spectator (1711)
"Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of
another." (Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary. (1881-1911).
"To fill the hour, that is happiness; to fill the hour and leave no crevice for a
repentance or an approval." – Ralph Waldo Emerson (1844).
"Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude." – Joseph Wood Krutch (1949)
From the Middle English term "hap" – good luck, chance. 1."lucky,
fortunate, favored by circumstances."
* Biblical Descriptions
Deut. 24:5 "If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any
other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness
to the wife he has married."
Psalms 144:15 "Blessed are the people whose God is the Lord."
John 10:10 "I am come that you might have life and have it to the full."
John 13:17 "Now if you know these things, you will be blessed if you do
them."
1 Timothy 4:8 "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for
all things, holding promise both for the present life and the life to come."
* Obstacles to Happiness
Fear is the most common deterrent to happiness. What are some of the fears that hinder
happiness?
1. Fear of punishment
2. Fear of losing control
3. Fear of loss.
4. Fear of being unloved.
5. Fear of being alone.
6. Fear of misunderstanding.
7. Fear of rejection.
8. Fear of obliteration "I believer each of these basic fears stems from a core
fear which I will call the fear of total obliteration. If I am overly punished or
controlled, or if I am totally abandoned . . . I could be obliterated from the face of the
earth." – Mikal Frazier
Other deterrents
1. Fretting over what we don’t have. Dr. David D. Burns, a psychiatrist, once had a
client who said that she wanted a divorce after 50 years of marriage. When he asked her if
she could identify the reason, she said, "Last week my husband gave me $ 4 million in
cash." Dr. Burns asked, "When he gave you the money, what were your
thoughts?" She said, "If he really loved me, he would have give me $8
million." She actually felt unloved and poor. As crazy as that sounds, people
actually do feel that way. When a poor man named Naboth refused to sell his vineyard to
the wealthy King Ahab, the king "lay on his bed sulking and refused to eat. . .
." (1 Kings 21:4).
2. Unresolved guilt. David described his miserable state of mind in Psalms 38:1-8. He
said "My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear." Guilt serves
a necessary function, but people who have too little guilt can become sociopaths (people
who are unable to distinguish right from wrong). People with too much guilt become
depressed and develop a high level of anxiety because they feel guilty when they
shouldn’t. It has been estimated that approximately 5 per cent of the people need to alter
the values to conform to their behavior, while approximately 95 per cent of the people
need to alter the behavior to fit their values.
3. Lack of or too much order. Dr. Bob Rigdon believes that "our lives are based on
a concept of order." (Happiness Explained p. 22). If we have too little order in our
lives, circumstances become threatening. If we have too much order, we become bore. We
differ as to how much order we need.
ยท Suggestions for Overcoming the Things that Get in the Way of Happiness.
1. Avoid going to extremes.
2. Repent of sin, but accept forgiveness based on the sacrifice of Jesus, not human
performance. 3. Work at developing non-manipulative relationships with people. 4. Place
your burdens on Jesus (Matt. 11:28-30). 5. ". . . all Scriptures must be studied,
internalized and harmonized in order to avoid the extremism which was condemned by our
Lord and which diminishes from our happiness." – Rigdon. P. 37.
CONCLUSION
"The main point of this is that we must know all of Jesus’ teachings and do all of
Jesus’ teaching to have optimum happiness or mental health. The more we know and do, the
happier we will be. Guilt is a major cause of mental illness. Christ’s teachings help us
to avoid guilt and be forgiven of what we do not avoid. However, if one slips into false
Christianity, the extremes of either Saduceeism (which tries to deny guilt) or Phariseeism
(which puts more guilt on us than God does), one will not find happiness or mental
health." Rigdon p. 18.
* * * * *
WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID ABOUT HAPPINESS
"If there is no sunshine in your religion, do not be surprised if nobody wants
it." – unknown author.
"Most of us miss out on life’s big prizes. The Pulitzer. The Nobel.
Oscars. Tonys. Emmys. But we are all eligible for life’s small pleasures. A pat on the
back. A kiss. A four-pound bass. A full moon. An empty parking space. A crackling fire. A
great meal. A glorious sunset. Hot soup." – Ken Dye.
"Happiness is like perfume – you can’t spray it on others without getting some on
yourself."
"I like to feel happy inside, don’t you?" – Tom T. Hall
". . . stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more
mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more
sunsets, laugh more, cry less. Life must be lived as we go along." – Robert J.
Hastings
"Just imagine. For every minute you’re angry, you lose sixty seconds of
happiness." – Reggie McElroy.
"What we cannot do for a lifetime we can do for a daytime. Anyone can life
sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely till the sun goes down. Anyone can hold his temper
for a day and guard the words he speaks. Anyone can carry his burden heroically for
one day. Anyone can strive to be happy for a day and spread happiness around. Anyone can
radiate love for a day. Anyone can rise above fear for a day, and meet each situation with
courage. Anyone can be thoughtful kind and considerate for a day." – Robert Louis
Stevenson
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