Wives, be subject to your husbands… Husbands, love your wives.

Ephesians 5:22,25.

A simple view of the main ‘mid-life crisis’ goes like this: The wife and
mother seeks security first, significance second – until the ‘empty nest’ looms
and she goes back into the work-force. The husband and father seeks significance first,
security second – but when he’s 40-45 he’s attained his occupational goals or
realizes he’s never going to. So the male then begins to get in touch with the
feeling/emotional side of his nature – and his mortality (male friends are starting to
have heart attacks).

He reaches out to his kids, but they’re independent now. And to his wife, but she
is receiving significance in the workplace. Sometimes he becomes a surrogate father-figure
to his younger secretary, and so a ‘spouse trade-in’ occurs. Meanwhile, his wife
is fed up with being in her husband’s shadow. ‘I want to be a person in my own
right,’ she hears herself saying.

These tensions ought to be talked through with a counselor or wise friend. Many
marriages break up which could have held together if only a positive course-correction in
the new relationship had been negotiated wisely and lovingly.

Such life-changes, Lord, sometimes creep up on us unawares, and they are difficult to
understand. We are not well prepared for them. So whatever life-stage I’m in, Lord,
help me to trust you anyway. Amen.

Shalom!

Rowland Croucher <>