The following checklist will remind you of strengths you have forgotten. During a family mealtime, read the list and ask each person to pick 3 or 4 strengths. Consider the following as symptoms of a strong family. Your goal is to discover the strengths you already have and to prepare your family to get even stronger.

You catch each other doing things right and you tend to look for the good instead of focusing on the bad.

You have learned how to argue without losing your temper. You have eliminated violence in your relationships.

You deal with each day’s problems as they arise, rather than letting them build up.

You have made family a top priority on your schedule and when the schedule gets tough, family wins.

You make time for casual conversations. You talk about feelings, intentions, thoughts, experiences, and actions.

You spend lots of time doing things together as a family and you help each other try new things.

Your family has a positive view of life. You speak about character and growth more than failures.

You tell stories about your parents and your childhood, even if your children are tired of hearing them.

You do something special with your spouse each week – make a date, even if it’s just a walk around the block.

You don’t label your family members. You allow each person to grow and change.

You have expressed your appreciation for each person in your family. Even with its faults, you’re proud of your family. You feel blessed.

You have learned an effective way to resolve conflicts that works for you and your family.

You get help with problems and frustrations before they become full-blown crises.

You have found a purpose or mission in your life that is worth fighting for, and you work at it together.

You’ve learned when to be flexible and when to be firm.

You’ve developed a team spirit around the house. Helping out teaches everyone responsibility. It’s a mark of maturity.

You have heart-to-heart informal talks with each family member on a regular basis.

You pray with each family member on a regular basis.

You have found a healthy way of dealing with stress – prayer, music, exercise, relaxation, humor, worship, pets, etc.

Your family is aware of the rules and expectations at home, and, although the rules may be challenged, they are respected.

You have found ways to have fun together on a regular basis.

You eat together at least one meal a day.

Your family attends church regularly and is involved at church.

You take a family vacation at least once a year.

You have developed your own family traditions, including birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, anniversary, and other special days.

You have learned how to bless each member of your family, and you give blessings regularly.

You have cried with a family member in the last few months, and you have laughed with a family member in the last few months.

You share your work life. You let your children see you at work and meet your co-workers.

You keep your own passion for life alive.

You share successes as a family, talking about the good things that happen during the day.

You share inspirational stories of people who stand for the values you appreciate.

You honor your children’s creations and have set aside an area of the house (refrigerator door) for displaying their creations, awards, and schedules.

Your family speaks openly about church, faith, and religious issues.

You have found ways to talk with your children about tough issues like drugs, sex, race, honor, and death.

Every once in a while you do something crazy with your family.

When your family faces a crisis, you pull together and find a way to deal with it successfully.

When you make promises you keep them.

In your family, Dad is involved with the children. He is the family leader.

You feel safe and secure within your home.

You have a challenging, but fulfilling marriage