Rowland,

I read your commentary on divorce. I ended my 26 year marriage about 5 years ago as I was tired of his mental abuse (making me sit with him on a number of occasions in the dark when he was cocking and uncocking his gun; a lot of furniture throwing) and flagrant infidelity (picking up prostitutes and fathering a child by a young woman off the street), etc. I went to a church which the pastor continuously preached stay together–God does not want divorce–don’t give your marriage up so easily. I stayed a lot longer than I should. I had not gone to the pastors until the end and then they were horrified that I had stayed in the marriage. As the senior pastor said, we didn’t mean you! The pastoral staff after that were very supportive in their support of my divorce. What was funny was that the congregation who had followed the pastor’s teachings of divorce treated me like a “scarlet woman.” I left that church and found another where they practiced understanding for those like me. I have since met and married a wonderful man and we are attending a church with a divorce recovery program for those who were like us a number of years ago. The real victim of this first marriage was my daughter as she is not living as she should.

Thank you for your message. More Christians should be aware that there are many women trying to live under impossible conditions and for their sanity and safety and for biblical reasons should leave their marriage.

Cheryl from Duvall

(Later)

Yes, I would be happy to have it read. I know that in my former church, the pastors are preaching differently as a result of my experience. I believe that what they learned from what I went through is helping them minister to others such as myself. If you want to use my name, that is fine.

Cheryl of Duvall