Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year staff at Macquarie University in Sydney put together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of the new year’s incoming students.

Here is this years list:

The people who are starting university next year across the nation were born in 1982. They have no meaningful recollection of the Whitlam Era and probably did not know he had ever been sacked. They might even not know who he is or was.

They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged. Black Monday, 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.

There has been only one Pope. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War. They have never feared a nuclear war. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Tianamen Square means nothing to them.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. Atari predates them as do vinyl albums. The expression you sound like a broken record means nothing to them. They have never owned a record player. They have likely never played Pac Man. They may have never heard of an 8 track. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 45 cents.

They have always had an answering machine. Most have never seen a TV set with only 4 channels, nor have they seen a black-and-white TV. They have always had cable. There have always been VCRs but they have no idea what BETA is.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control. They were born the year that Walkmans were introduced by Sony.

Roller-skating has always meant inline for them. Brian Henderson has always read the channel nine news. They have no idea when or why flares were cool or maybe even what they were.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They have never seen Ian or Greg Chappell play. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII and the Boer War.

They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran. They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from. They never heard: Boss, de plane, de plane. They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. is. The Titanic was found? They thought we always knew where it was. Michael Jackson has always been white.

Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups. McDonalds never came in Styrofoam containers. There has always been MTV. They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet?