6. Encourage newlyweds to meet in the first year of their marriage with their Mentor Couple and/or their Pastor. OUR COMMENTS: There’s some built in accountability in this initiative. Sometimes problems can be headed off before they occur. It’s very important to establish a trust relationship before this can happen.

7. Provide marriage enrichment opportunities on a regular basis for all couples. OUR COMMENTS: Continuing education for married couples is absolutely essential. It can be done in many different settings – adult education classes, workshops, videotapes, etc.

8. Train couples whose marriages nearly failed to mentor those couples who are now considering divorce. OUR COMMENTS: Many church leaders fail to recognize how powerful this can be. When we encounter marriage problems, we normally try to get people into counseling. According to Mike McManus, that works about 20 percent of the time. When mentors, who have been to the brink of disaster and recovered, work with persons in troubled marriages, about 4 out of 5 marriages can be saved. People who have worked through serious problems have the capability of helping other couples who are struggling. Mentoring couples are not therapists and they are not paid for what they do. Unfortunately, many counselors believe their task is to facilitate the divorce. Couple mentors work to save the marriages and they are being successful in many different settings.

9. Encourage the reconciliation of divorced or separated couples by providing counsel and support. OUR COMMENTS: While it is true that separation often leads to divorce, it does not have to be that way. Too many people think they must choose between the option of living in a miserable marriage and divorce. There is a third option. If people are willing to go through the painful process of rebuilding, they can eventually enjoy a mutually satisfying relationship.

10. Create a Stepfamily Support Group to enable couples with children from a previous marriage to create a truly blended family. OUR COMMENTS: We would love to live in a society in which stepfamilies do not exist, but that’s not the world we live in. Second marriages are not easy. Child rearing dynamics are enormously complex. It’s not surprising to learn that the failure rate of second marriages is much higher than the failure rate of first marriages. Some churches have created stepfamily support groups and have done a great deal to relieve the pressure on these families.

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“WHAT HAVE WE DONE FOR YOU LATELY”

by Perry Newton

Many people have had the experience of helping some unfortunate soul in many ways over a period of time only to have them turn at the last with the retort, “But what have you done for me today?”

Deep in the heart of every person is the yearning to be accepted, to be loved and a feeling that one is something to somebody. But people do not express appreciation very much. Most are like the nine lepers Jesus healed who failed to turn back to thank him. These just go out and forget you.

Samuel Leibwitz, a great criminal lawyer, saved 78 persons from the electric chair, yet not one of the 78 ever bothered to send him a word of thanks. Art King had a radio program called Job Center of the Air. He got good jobs for 2,500 people, yet only 10 every bothered to thank him.

In the home, husband and wife often fail to make known to their loved ones the sea of gratitude, that wells up in the heart . . . the great need for each other. A country doctor told of a patient, a rancher’s wife whose husband was strong and taciturn, little given to expressing his feelings. The woman, always frail, suffered a ruptured appendix and was rushed to the hospital where she steadily grew weaker. The doctor tried to challenge her to greater effort by saying, “I thought you would try to be strong like John.” To which she replied, “John is so strong that he doesn’t need anyone.”

That night the doctor told John he didn’t think his wife wanted to get well. “She’s got to get well,” said John. “Would another transfusion help?”

The rancher’s blood proved to be the same type as his wife’s and the doctor arranged a direct transfusion. As John lay there, his blood flowing into his wife’s veins, he said, “I am going to make you well.” “Why?” she said, her eyes closed. “Because I need you,” was the simple answer.

There was a pause, then her pulse quickened. Her eyes opened and she slowly turned her head to say, “You never told me before.” Writing of the incident later, the doctor said, “It wasn’t the transfusion but what went with it that made the difference between death and life.”

The truth of this incident applies to all of us. Being human we need to face the unalterable fact that at any instant it might be too late to say the things we really feel but put off saying. So it is with spiritual needs. One writer put it this way, “God has promised forgiveness to your repentance, but He has not promised tomorrow to your procrastination.

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PERCEPTIONS

“Cut Off From The Power Source”

by Monroe Hawley, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

All of us have experienced a power outage from time to time. A power outage makes us aware of just how dependent we are on electrical energy. Our lives have to be totally redirected when we lose power. The same thing is true when we lose contact with our spiritual power sources. You can read more about this challenge

at

http://www.allaboutfamilies.org/sh/percep200044.html

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