Clergy/Leaders’ Mail-list No. 2-013 (Family Issues)

WHAT IS THE GREATEST ENEMY OF MARRIAGE?

by Norman and Ann Bales

OK. Get out your pen and blank sheet of paper. We’re going to give you a test. What is the greatest enemy of marriage?

We’re not really going to give you a test, but maybe the threat of it helped you to think about our questions for a few seconds. Folks who make it their business to study marriage problems usually conclude that marriage problems fall into one of the following categories:

– money

– household management

– personality clashes

– sex

– sharing household jobs

Guess what? These are not the main problems in marriage. Paul Faulkner, well known for his work with the Brecheen-Faulkner marriage enrichment seminars put his finger squarely on the number one problem many years ago when he wrote the following words:

“Selfishness is the greatest single enemy of a happy marriage. Selfishness is the root of all other sins.”

Do married couples go to war over money, sex and all the rest of it? Of course they do. But the nasty root of all the discontent in our homes is an insatiable desire to have one’s way.

Self is alive in each and every one of us, even those of us who claim to be born again. If you don’t believe it, read 1 Corinthians 9:27. The temptation to want our own way is very strong. There’s no way to overcome it apart from sacrifice and self-denial. (Matthew 16:24)

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